Politics makes for strange bedfellows and war and Muslim Terrorism is just an extension of politics, so it’s unsurprising that Al-Qaeda’s “spiritual leader,” Osama Bin Laden would cultivate a relationship with North Korea’s yammering monkey, Kim Jong Il. Yet, who knew that it would take such a bizarre, depraved, and disgusting turn?
A leading Al-Qaeda cleric, Imam Abdul Al Akroot ibn Al Daa’reh Khanzeer responded to queries about Osama Bin Laden’s seemingly prohibited relationship with the North Korean dictator.
What Osama has done is permissible. It is not the sin of homosexuality because Kim Jong Il is not a man; he is a monkey. As Abdullah ibn Abbas narrated in the Kitab Al-Hudud, “There is no prescribed punishment for one who has sexual intercourse with an animal.”
Allah is merciful. Women of Islam are few and goats and such are many, and it is often hard for a man to tell them apart in the night. Allah knows this and thus it is halal.
Sadly, when questioned on the fact that the ayat immediately preceding the one that he cited (Book 38, Number 4450) called for the death of any man caught fornicating with an animal – and the death of the animal! – Imam Abdul Al Akroot went into a violent rage and became too incoherent to continue the interview.
The Civilized World just fervently and desperately hopes and prays that Osama Bin Laden and Kim Jong Il will not follow in the trend of celebrities couples and release a sex tape. π―
Tags: Afghanistan | Al-Qaeda | Beastiality | Gay Rights | Humor | Islam | Islamists | Kim Jong Il | LGBT | Lolnews | Marriage | Media | North Korea | Osama Bin Laden | Pakistan | Politics | Terrorism | Vermin | War | War On Terror
See a beautiful woman in something resembling a uniform and, for those men in the West, one of the first funny thoughts that comes to mind is Girl Scouts and Girl Scout cookies. The image below from LOL News is a perfect and wonderfully pleasant to look at example.
Unsurprisingly, my being an average example of one of those Western men, I was originally going to jump on the bandwagon and make a short, hopefully humorous, and more than a little prurient post about the image displayed above. Then I took a better look at the picture and the woman depicted therein.
Firstly, I realized that the woman is wearing the field uniform of the Tzva Hagana Leyisra’el (Tzahal) which is more widely called the Israeli Defense Force (IDF). There are no “Girl Scouts” in the Tzahal.
Secondly, I noticed that she wore the Chiel Harefuah pin upon her breast. That’s the Tzahal’s insignia for their medical corps. Due the particulars of my life I do not tend towards offering up anything that might be considered disrespectful to members of the medical corps of any nation’s military forces.
Third and finally, I saw that, judging by her looks, she was an Arab. That sparked my curiosity since there are relatively few Arabs the IDF; all Israeli Arabs with the exception of the Druze and Circassians, are exempt from Israel’s compulsory military service and few choose to serve voluntarily. Fewer still Arab women would choose or be allowed by their menfolk to join the military.
As far as I could see this woman had to be special, if only by the nature of her rarity, so I started doing some research…
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Most people in the Civilized World have been shocked and confused by the puppet ruler of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s repeated public claims that the Holocaust never happened. Fortunately we now have enough evidence to put forth a theory on the matter.
I bet his new Beer Goggles 2.0 also let him look at history and not see what 300 Spartans, 700 Thespians, and 400 Thebans did to 100,000 or more of his Persian ancestors at the Battle of Thermopylae. π
I wonder though if Ahmadinejad’s new goggles let him see a future where Iran isn’t a blackened and shattered wasteland and the ragged, pathetic, and diseased remnants of its people aren’t scattered around refugee camps living off the largess of other nations.