Reflections From a Murky Pond

Breaking News: One of Obama’s early advertisements for campaign staffers, both official and unofficial, has recently been uncovered and released to the public. It is believed to be from his 2008 presidential campaign but could date to his Senate days.

An Early Want Ad For Obama Campaign Staffers

Most telling and predictive of the boy’s mindset, in my rarely humble opinion, is the combination of his describing himself as a genius and the simple fact that it uses a 900 number.

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It’ a common Leftist refrain that Obama’s views, opinions, and policies are too complex and nuanced for mere Americans to understand or appreciate. Nowhere’s is this more true than when it comes to Obama’s rhetoric on protecting children from deadly violence.

Obama’s “Complex” Views On Saving Children

Frankly, I’m forced to agree with America’s domestic enemies this time. I can in no way reconcile, understand, or appreciate Obama’s “complex” views and jabbering on when, where, and how children’s lives should be protected form harm.

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Science and technology, especially engineering require precise and specific measurements for the important sake of accurately completing necessary mathematical calculations. These are esoteric and often insular disciplines however, and many of these measurements and their more important conversions are not well known outside of the circles of engineering.

• The ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = eskimo pie
• 2,000 lbs of Chinese soup = won ton
• 1 millionth of a mouthwash  = 1 microscope
• The time between slipping on a peel and hitting the pavement = 1 bananosecond
• Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
• Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile / hour = knotfurlong
• 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer = 1 lite year
• 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
• 1/2 of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
• 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
• Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
• Shortest distance between two jokes = a straight line
• 2,000 mockingbirds = 2 killomockingbird
• 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 fig newton
• 1,000cc of wet socks = 1 literhosen
• 8 nickels = 2 paradigms

Enjoy and remember that, by any measure, humor converts to reduction in stress and the clearing of the mind.

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