Archive for May, 2012

Understanding Our Needs

Posted in Humor on May 30th, 2012

Men and women are similar but different, complimentarian parts of the greater whole known as marriage. As such, men and women have different needs and it behooves each to make those needs known to the other in a manner in which they can understand.

One night a husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up.

But then the wife stops and says, “I don’ t feel like it. I just want you to hold me.”

The husband says, “WHAT???” The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman.

The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept. store. He walks around and had her try on three very expensive outfits. And then tells his wife, “We’ll take all three of them.” Then he goes over and gets matching shoes worth $200 each.

And then goes to the jewelry Dept. and gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited – she thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet.

The husband says “but you don’t even play tennis, but OK if you like it then lets get it.”

The wife is jumping up and down. So excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says “I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register.”

The husband says, “No no no, honey we’re not going to buy all this stuff.” The wife face goes blank.

“No honey – I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.”

Her face gets really red she is about to explode and then the husband says, “You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a MAN!”

Sometimes, in these cases, exercises and example do work better than mere words. That is not, however, to say that such lessons will be well recieved. There’s no implication that such teachable moments are going to have pleasant short-term results and I do NOT suggest doing them anywhere near the shoe department. ;-)

Related Reading:

Little Masterpieces of American Wit and Humor Volume I
National Geographic Kids Just Joking: 300 Hilarious Jokes, Tricky Tongue Twisters, and Ridiculous Riddles
How To Be More Funny: The Guide To Having A Great Sense Of Humor (how to be funny, how to be interesting, social skills)
The Woman I Wanted to Be
Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened

Dream For Him

Posted in 2012 Election on May 28th, 2012

Obama dreams of a second term of office. His narcissism needs to be glutted by that overt sign of approval. But his dream isn’t strong enough, so he needs the Liberals, Progressives, and their minority tenants to dream for him.

Will You Dream For Obama? Will You Fall With Him?
Will You Dream For Him? Will You Fall With Him?

So that becomes the question. Will the Frankensteinian chimera that has been stitched together from the rotting flesh of the various Leftist factions dream for Obama?

That they will fall with him is without question.

Related Reading:

2013 - Crying Shame
Progressive Evangelicals and the Pursuit of Social Justice
Twenty-Five Easy and Progressive Studies for the Piano, Op. 100: Piano Solo
The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream (Vintage)
The Obama Nation: Leftist Politics and the Cult of Personality

The Unclaimable Dependent

Posted in 2012 Election, Politics on May 27th, 2012

Much has been rightly said against the Obama composite construct, Julia. Yet, most of these complaints, though utterly valid, miss one main point, that of who will be forced with the threat of violence to pay for the comfortable and totally secure life of Julia.

Obama's Julia, The Uninvited Guest and Unclaimable Dependent
No, You Can’t Claim Julia As A Dependent!

It is one thing for a man or woman, in the fictional case of Julia, to enter into bondage and dependence of their own accord. It is quite another for the government to rule that we, the People must pay for her upkeep and comfort from cradle to grave.

Related Reading:

Who's In My Family?: All About Our Families (Let's Talk about You and Me)
Liberty and Tyranny: A Conservative Manifesto
Bad Feminist: Essays
Men Explain Things to Me
Building an Opportunity Society: A Realistic Alternative to an Entitlement State