Archive for the 'Humor' Category

Folks, We’re Screwed

Posted in Humor, Politics, Society on April 24th, 2014

Folks, were screwed. The Promised Land, that shining city on the hill, has been broken, sold off, and sold out.

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, “Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land.”

Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, “Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land.”

Today, Congress has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels, and mortgaged the Promised Land!

I was so depressed last night thinking about Obama Care, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc …. I called a Suicide Hotline.

I had to press 1 for English.

I was connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal.

They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck……

Folks, we’re screwed.

Yeah, it’s not really something to make jokes of but you either have to laugh, cry, or end up doing something that’ll get you on the news…

Related Reading:

The Hitwoman Gets Lucky (Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman)
Society, Ethics, and Technology
The 50 Funniest American Writers*: An Anthology of Humor from Mark Twain to The Onion
America the Beautiful: Rediscovering What Made This Nation Great
The Unwinding: An Inner History of the New America

Take A Moment To Relax

Posted in Humor on April 18th, 2014

Bouncy Busty Babe
Take A Moment To Relax

It’s Friday and it’s been a long, hard, and frustrating week. So take a moment to relax. Breath in, breath out. Let your eyes follow the motions and the stress flow out of you.

Related Reading:

Meditation and Mindfulness Training: Practical Mindfulness Exercises and Mindful Meditations (The Meditation for Life Series) (Volume 3)
Relaxation Revolution: The Science and Genetics of Mind Body Healing
Meditations (Dover Thrift Editions)
Babe: The Legend Comes to Life
Little Masterpieces of American Wit and Humor Volume I

April Snow Showers?

Posted in Humor, Society, The Environment on April 16th, 2014

I get the idea of April showers…but snow showers? Really, Mother Nature? I thought you were supposed be having hot flashes from Global Warming.

Lucy Purr
It’s Fucking Cold & Windy But Not Unbearable ;-)

That’s right! It’s the middle of April but last night the Sping weather made an exit in the Tristate region. Snow moved back in late last night. Heavy, wet snow was reported from the Hudson Valley, northern New Jersey and New York City and temperatures are expected to remain unseasonable cold through the week.

Related Reading:

New Jersey Atlas & Gazetteer
Hello NY: An Illustrated Love Letter to the Five Boroughs
NJ ASK Practice Tests and Online Workbooks: Grade 3 Language Arts and Literacy, Fifth Edition: Common Core State Standards, NJASK 2014
Winter Board Book