Archive for the 'Food & Drink' Category

Giving Muslims Nightmares

Posted in Food & Drink, Humor, Religion, Society on August 28th, 2014

So, how does a man give nightmares to Muslims who are themselves cruel mockeries of human form created from the very stuff of nightmares?

Bacon Grenade
Giving Muslims Nightmares: Bacon Grenades

That’s easy! The bacon grenade. After all, pineapples and bacon are a well-established pairing.

As a civilian alternative – most of us, after all, don’t have access to grenades – consider the use of the bacon-wrapped pipe bomb.

Simply follow the normal instructions for making a pipe bomb but, before you load the powder in it or place the fuse, wrap it tightly and completely in .18 gauge aluminum wire and then in bacon. Bake in the oven at 400° for 10 minutes, then allow to cool before loading the powder and fuse. ;-)

Mmmmmm….Bacon.

Related Reading:

The Muslim Empires of the Ottomans, Safavids, and Mughals (New Approaches to Asian History)
The 50 Funniest American Writers*: An Anthology of Humor from Mark Twain to The Onion
Corps Justice Boxed Set: Books 1-3: Back to War, Council of Patriots, Prime Asset - Military Thrillers
Ulrimate Book of Explosives, Bombs and IEDs
IED,Drones and Suicide Bomber  Warfare in Afghanistan and Pakistan

The Right Tools

Posted in NYC Dining, Religion, Society on June 1st, 2014

While it’s true that a poor craftsman blames his tools, it’s also true that a good craftsman makes sure that he has the right tools for the job at hand.
 
nailgun1

DeWalt’s AR-16D
(Click to Enlarge)

DeWalt’s AR-16D can drive a 16D nail through a 2 X 4 at 200 yards. This makes construction a breeze, you can sit in your lawn chair and build a fence. Just get the wife to hold the fence boards in place while you sit back and relax with a cold drink. When she has the board in the right place just fire away… With the hundred round magazine, you can build the fence with a minimum of reloading. After a day of fence building with the new Dewalt Rapid fire nail gun, the wife will not ask you to fix or build anything else.

And, of course, this is a power tool, not a firearm. Hence, the gun-grabbers can’t touch it…though it could touch them, and 16D nails laugh at kevlar. :lol:

Now that’s the right tool for the job!

Related Reading:

The Next Amendment - 2nd Edition
Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened
Slaves hate  the 2nd Amendment
Power Tool Woodworking for Everyone
Gun Digest Buyer's Guide To Assault Weapons

The First Lady’s Pissed

Posted in Food & Drink, Politics on May 28th, 2014

It seems that Moochelle Obama is getting really pissed off about the growing number of school districts that have rebelled against her War on Food. At her recent Roundtable on Nutrition she got quite irate.

Let me just ask: Why are we even having this conversation? Help me understand why, especially given the fact that the School Nutrition Association worked to pass the original changes in the nutrition standards. It is my understanding that this is the group that’s pushing to change the legislation.

If anyone can help me understand how we wound up here…

– Michelle Obama

This is not in the least shocking. The FLOTUS is “temperamental” and has never dealt well with being balked or questioned, especially by individuals or groups who she believes she can bully through her position as First Lady and her access to the Executive.

Moochelle Obama - Eat What I Tell You To Eat
Eat What I Tell You To Eat!

Of course, I’m sure Moochelle was quite shocked that her selected group of attendees, who were all fairly low on totem pole, had the temerity to question her judgement and the universal efficacy of her plan. It was, after all, no accident that the School Nutrition Association was not invited to send a representative. Moochelle doesn’t tolerate people who have the nerve to question her judgement.

Related Reading:

The Politics
The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream (Vintage)
The Amateur
The Pout-Pout Fish Goes to School (A Pout-Pout Fish Adventure)
If You Take a Mouse to School