Reflections From a Murky Pond

It’s not my normal practice to lampoon the words and/or actions of those few people trying their damnedest to stave off the dissolution of America and to protect its beleaguered economy from further rape by America’s domestic enemies, nor is it in my nature to use their words as a basis for puns. Some things, however, are just too good to pass up.

A bit of humor, even a pun, is good though, lest we take ourselves, rather than our cause, too seriously. And besides, how often does anyone get the chance to see a whale shark being hand fed?

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This truly epic beer commercial, The Legendary Biru was developed for Sapporo at Dentsu Canada by creative director/copywriter/art director Glen Hunt, creative director/art director Les Soos, copywriter Dhaval Bhatt, agency producer Sharon Kosokowsky, strategic planner Jeff McCrory, account director Tim Binkley, cultural consultant Nobu Tanaka.

Sapporo – Not a Light Beer, An Enlightened Beer

It’s an incredibly well done commercial; both Dentsu Canada and Sapporo should be justifiably proud of the team’s creativity and skill.

Is it just me though, or is this commercial also a subtle metaphor for Buddhism’s six conditions or realms of existence, called samsara: Manusya-gati, Tiryagyoni-gati, Naraka-gati, Preta-gati, Asura-gati, and Deva-gati? Are they implying that one can reach nirvana by drinking beer, especially Sapporo?

I suppose it’s plausible. There’s supposedly truth in wine, so there might be enlightenment in beer. Beer is, after all, proof that the Gods love us.

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The British ladies are busting out and throwing the world a set a curves.

It seems that a recent market study determined that the lovely ladies of England have the shapeliest breasts in the world, or at least of those on the far side of the Atlantic.

This was determined by a Bra Usage and Attitude Study performed by COIN, for lingerie manufacturer, Triumph International.  While not truly global, the study did include China, France, Germany, Italy, Japan, and the UK.

It’s certainly a titillating study and one that will garner a lot of well-deserved attention. It, however, has some interesting points for both the $30 billion per year global lingerie market and for societal views of body image.

Asylum UK distills the salient points:

Researchers have discovered that women in Britain have the most shapely bodies on the planet.

A recent global survey of breasts discovered the average British woman wears a size 34D bra — meaning she has bigger boobs and is more slender than most around the world.

Over in Germany and Italy women have a larger under-bra size of 38 inches and in France the average bra is 36B.

In Japan and China women are said to have the same 34 inch ribcage measurement as Brits, but this is again only paired with B cup boobs.

And while British women have an average of a 34D bra, the most common cup size is said to be a rather generous ‘DD’.

The Triumph international “Bra Usage and Attitude Study” also compared results to those from 50 years ago, finding that British woman’s chest and hips are now 4cm bigger.

If this continues it will mean that by 2060 the average UK bra size will be a gigantic F or G cup… how come they never mentioned that on Tomorrow’s World?

Obviously, despite the borders of the British Empire having contracted, it’s assets are still quite astounding and growing more so with the passing years. This and the finding of COIN’s study can be born out by empirical study of these delicious British lasses who all have DD cup sizes and whose underbreast measurements average to 34 inches:

Making Statistics Beautiful

Similarly, one can see from representative samples of women from China, France, Germany, Italy, and Japan that COIN’s study is certainly not too far off the mark.

Still, the British women, indisputably as fine as they are, shouldn’t gloat too much or become complacent. There are many, many roads to beauty and sexiness – and the study that Triumph International commissioned didn’t address the glories of women’s legs or butts.

I hope that Triumph doesn’t make the mistake of ignoring their “bottom line” by focusing their efforts exclusively on the bra. That’s the sort of marketing mistake that could hurt them in “the end.”

~*~

While the pleasant and prurient aspects of the curvaceousness of British women and the size and shapeliness of their breasts is quite nice and a wonderful distraction, the COIN study on bra usage and attitude towards brassieres also presents some much more important data relating to manufacturing, marketing, and to women’s and societies’ body images as compared to objective reality.

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