Reflections From a Murky Pond

Science and technology, especially engineering require precise and specific measurements for the important sake of accurately completing necessary mathematical calculations. These are esoteric and often insular disciplines however, and many of these measurements and their more important conversions are not well known outside of the circles of engineering.

• The ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = eskimo pie
• 2,000 lbs of Chinese soup = won ton
• 1 millionth of a mouthwash  = 1 microscope
• The time between slipping on a peel and hitting the pavement = 1 bananosecond
• Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
• Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile / hour = knotfurlong
• 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer = 1 lite year
• 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
• 1/2 of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
• 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
• Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
• Shortest distance between two jokes = a straight line
• 2,000 mockingbirds = 2 killomockingbird
• 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 fig newton
• 1,000cc of wet socks = 1 literhosen
• 8 nickels = 2 paradigms

Enjoy and remember that, by any measure, humor converts to reduction in stress and the clearing of the mind.

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Have you ever wondered why America’s politicians are so polarized and divided, and apparently so incapable of ever reaching even the minimum necessary levels of compromise that is needed to pass legislation?

The answer is actually quite prosaic. They’re two parties, Republican and Democrat, who are divided by a common language. A case in point:

• Whenever a Republican politician says, “Tax Reform,” Democrats hear, “Tax Cuts For The Wealthy.”
• Whenever a Democrat politician says, “Tax Reform,” Republicans hear, “Tax Hikes.”

That doesn’t really leave any room for compromise, does it? And that’s the problem in a nutshell. As they can’t even communicate with each other, there’s little or no hope that they can cooperate with each other.

I’d suggest that they put aside other issues and work out a common lexicon and dictionary to speak and work from, but that would only result in decades of argument and expense. They are the people who weren’t confident of what the definition of “is” is, after all.

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One thing that Liberals and Progressives love is illegal immigrants – as long as they’re Brown – and one thing that they hate is Americans being able to be armed.

Let’s concatenate what passes for the logic of their rhetoric and apply that which they use for illegal immigration for firearms.

My Guns Won’t Be Illegal. They’ll Be Undocumented

Let’s be honest and face the grim facts. There’s never going to be a real reason for Americans being forced to register our weaponry with the government other than to create the framework for confiscation of those weapons and the criminalization of the Americans that own them.

I, for one, do not give my consent to anyone who chooses to attempt to govern me in such a fashion and, if they should try to rule over me instead, I will, without compunction or regret, exterminate them and all of their blood unto their last misborn crotch-dropping. I cannot see where any American could do differently.

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