Disney’s Rebel Princess

Certainly, you don’t have to enjoy Disney’s Frozen. You do, however, have to face the fact that Elsa is Disney’s rebel princess…and in more ways than just her sexuality.

Elsa of Arendelle – Disney’s Rebel Princess

Whether is saying, “Fuck It All” to her final exams or “Let ‘Em Burn” about people who’ve hurt her or held her down, Elsa is most definitely a rebel through and through.

Related Reading:

HARRY POTTER: 200+ Funny Jokes and Memes (Harry Potter parody book) + BIG FAT BONUS INSIDE
Fan CULTure: Essays on Participatory Fandom in the 21st Century
Witch Is Why The Music Stopped (A Witch P.I. Mystery Book 19)
The Disney Book
The Fangirl's Guide to the Galaxy: A Handbook for Girl Geeks

Tags: | | | | | |

Brand Protection

Oscar Mayer LogoKraft Foods, Inc., in response to the continuing backlash caused by the online sexual deviance of ex-Representative Anthony Weiner (D-NY) has decided to distance their subsidiary, Oscar Mayer’s brand from the New York pervert. They have quietly and unceremoniously dropped the word “wiener” from all their hotdog advertisements in favor of “sausage.”

Kraft hopes to keep their Oscar Mayer brand and its trademark jingle from being associated with the neo-adultery and ludicrous mendacity of the disgraced ex-Congressman.

Thanks to one sleazy, pathetic, adulterous politician, the word wiener has been stained to the point that we can’t associate with it anymore,” said Kraft spokesperson, Beau Lonie. “Now all you hear is ‘Weiner sucks’ or ‘that Weiner is disgusting,’ or other even more off-color jokes about it, and that’s not in line with Oscar Mayer products which are, and always have been, a children’s favorite.

We must think of those children and disassociate our brand from this sort of prurience.

Oscar Mayer and Kraft foods are just fortunate that ‘sausage’ scans the same as ‘wiener’ and will not require us to change our hot dog’s famous jingle, which has delighted Americans for 46 years, beyond this simple word substitution.

Rumor has it that the processed food giant is consulting with attorneys to see if they can sue Anthony Weiner for damages. This is based upon the fact that his surname is more correctly pronounced “Whiner” based upon its Germanic roots and spelling, yet he consistently chose to pronounce it as “Wiener.”

Rumor has it that Sabrett, Hebrew National, and Nathan’s, all closely linked with Weiner’s ex-constituency in Brooklyn and Queens, are also considering various brand saving and legal actions but are waiting upon advisement by the ADL before proceeding.

Related Reading:

A Moment of Madness (Boston Alibi Book 2)
The New Strategic Brand Management: Advanced Insights and Strategic Thinking (New Strategic Brand Management: Creating & Sustaining Brand Equity)
Real Food/Fake Food: Why You Don't Know What You're Eating and What You Can Do About It
Goodnight iPad: a Parody for the next generation
Passover Parodies: Short Plays for the Seder Table

Tags: | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |