The Times We Live In

The Times We Live In When Normal Is Wrong
The Times We Live In, When Normal Is Wrong

We, most assuredly sadly, live in an age where all that is not male, not White, and/or not heterosexual is held up as greatness and in which anything male, White, and/or heterosexual is decried as abhorrent or, at the very least, utterly unworthy of praise or recognition due to that very maleness, Whiteness, and/or heterosexuality.

And do be aware and assured that our domestic enemies whole issue with normal people is that they are still the majority and still exemplars of- and adherents to the long-standing, dominant culture in and of America.

Related Reading:

Christophobia
Degenerate Art: The Exhibition Guide in German and English
A Love Most Ardent: A Pride & Prejudice Variation
Heterophobia CB
Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions

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An Odd Occurrence

An odd occurrence happened last Saturday night.

A Black male opened fire inside Jib Lanes bowling alley on Parsons Blvd. in Queens last Saturday night. The shooting rampage took place after the gunman was kicked out of the establishment.

The ghetto thug fired five shots at a 36-year-old security guard striking him in the back and thigh and then ran off. His victim was rushed to New York Hospital where he remained in stable condition.
 

Queens Bowling Alley Shooting

 
Please don’t get me wrong; there’s nothing odd about some crazed buck becoming violent when outraged or offended. That’s a common enough occurrence to not be notable. It’s a boringly normal part of male behavior in the “Black Community.”

No, what;s odd is that it was at a bowling alley. C’mon! How weird is that? When was last time you saw or heard of a Black at bowling alley?

Related Reading:

Red Queen
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge: A Definitive Encyclopaedia Of Existing Information
A Thug's Worth 2
111 Places in New York That You Must Not Miss: Revised and Updated
The Lost Queen of Crocker County: A Novel

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Brand Protection

Oscar Mayer LogoKraft Foods, Inc., in response to the continuing backlash caused by the online sexual deviance of ex-Representative Anthony Weiner (D-NY) has decided to distance their subsidiary, Oscar Mayer’s brand from the New York pervert. They have quietly and unceremoniously dropped the word “wiener” from all their hotdog advertisements in favor of “sausage.”

Kraft hopes to keep their Oscar Mayer brand and its trademark jingle from being associated with the neo-adultery and ludicrous mendacity of the disgraced ex-Congressman.

Thanks to one sleazy, pathetic, adulterous politician, the word wiener has been stained to the point that we can’t associate with it anymore,” said Kraft spokesperson, Beau Lonie. “Now all you hear is ‘Weiner sucks’ or ‘that Weiner is disgusting,’ or other even more off-color jokes about it, and that’s not in line with Oscar Mayer products which are, and always have been, a children’s favorite.

We must think of those children and disassociate our brand from this sort of prurience.

Oscar Mayer and Kraft foods are just fortunate that ‘sausage’ scans the same as ‘wiener’ and will not require us to change our hot dog’s famous jingle, which has delighted Americans for 46 years, beyond this simple word substitution.

Rumor has it that the processed food giant is consulting with attorneys to see if they can sue Anthony Weiner for damages. This is based upon the fact that his surname is more correctly pronounced “Whiner” based upon its Germanic roots and spelling, yet he consistently chose to pronounce it as “Wiener.”

Rumor has it that Sabrett, Hebrew National, and Nathan’s, all closely linked with Weiner’s ex-constituency in Brooklyn and Queens, are also considering various brand saving and legal actions but are waiting upon advisement by the ADL before proceeding.

Related Reading:

Krafts Food & Family Magazine (45 fabulous fall Ideas, Fall 2011)
The Politics of Parody: A Literary History of Caricature, 1760-1830 (The Lewis Walpole Series in Eighteenth-Century Culture and History)
Politics from A to Z
Healing Through Humor: Fabulous Jokes From the Happy Hunters
New York's Best Emerging Poets: An Anthology

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