Don’t Touch Your Face!

Don’t Touch Your Face!

Hey! As we all know now, we need to shelter in place, social distance, wear masks and gloves, and don’t touch our faces. CNN even gives instructions on this new practice.

And hey again! There are even new products hitting the market that will help you with is! And believe me, they work! 😆

A More Holistic, Natural, And Progressive Solution

But, for the more earthy-crunchy, natural or nothing, anti-capitalist sorts, there are also purely nature aids to not touching your face.

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The Vagina Diatribes

Vagina CuntSome things change only in that they get more repugnant.Back in 1996 we had to hear or, at least, here about The Vagina Monologues. Now we have Dr. Jen Gunter’s The Vagina Diatribes aka “My Vagina Is Terrific. Your Opinion About It Is Not.” Before anything else, let me say that, even as another Feminist screed, her rant stinks. 😉 Of course, it was published in the New York Times, so a certain level of fetor is to be expected.

And this particular rant was the result of Gunter taking offense at the Sun and later the New York Post writing about how she dumped her boyfriend because he didn’t like the smell of her vagina.

I once dated a guy who insinuated my vagina did not smell right. He was an ass in other ways too, but I just didn’t see it until he impugned my vagina. For example, he though my hair would be better if it were straight. Sadly I took the bait, it wasn’t. He thought I would look better if I dressed a certain way. Again I took the bait. I just felt worse. When it came around to telling me how my vagina could be better it finally clicked that this is a form of control that men often use. Fortunately I am an appropriately confident vagina expert and I had a light bulb moment and dumped his sorry ass.

— Dr. Jen Gunter
Vaginal Vicks VapoRub, oh my God people just don’t

Yeah. I don’t think it was about control. I think it was about hygiene, something that Dr. Gunter has some strongly held and non-normative ideas about, as she clearing and somewhat angrily stated in the same article that the Sun and Post reported upon.

For what I am sure is the 100th time the vagina needs no cleaning and the vulva needs very little.

OK. As Dr. Gunter is a board certified in OB/GYN in both the United States and Canada, I’m not going to argue with her position upon the medical necessity of women’s “personal hygiene.” I will point out, however, the civilized societies long ago grew past medically necessary or advisable as the sole criteria for hygienic practices. Things such as regular – normally daily – bathing, antiperspirants, deodorants, and such are not medically necessary or even advisable actually. They are, however, part of what makes civilized living … civilized.

This being the case, it should come as no surprise that I, and I believe most men and probably the vast majority of lesbian and bisexual women, think Dr. Gunter’s opinion stinks worse than her vagina.

What’s worse is that, like the majority of the modern sort of Feminists, Dr. Gunter took what was a valid and quite good opinion and made it untenable and hard to stomach through her extremism and delusions of oppression by men. I mean, sure, I have no doubts whatsoever that there are a plethora of specialized products – e.g., Gunter’s current pet peeves, Goop’s Jade Eggs and the vaginal use of Vicks VapoRub – that capitalize on- and profit from women’s insecurities about their vaginas. That doesn’t mean Gunter should forgo basic, polite hygiene and then man-bash the guys who find her lady-parts repugnant. It certainly doesn’t mean that she should create and manage a forum where you proselytize to other women that should also do this.  Her doing so calls all her other advice into question and may well lead to poorer outcomes.

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Removing A Tick

As most Americans know, the best way to avoid vermin and parasites is good hygiene, both in one’s person and one’s habitat. Sometimes, however, through either consorting with the unhygienic or traveling through wild regions, one can still end up infested. Hence, it’s best to know the proper procedure for removing parasites such as ticks.


How To Remove A Blood-sucking Tick

Of course, if the normal removal means fail, it may then be necessary to apply fire to the blood-suckers in order to be rid of them. 😉

Sadly, that’s messy, occasionally painful, and runs the risk of the vermin vomiting toxins into their hosts in the course of their death throws. As such, fire or other extreme means of removal must be first carefully considered.

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At The Barbershop

In days gone by American men went to the barbershop for their basic grooming needs. It was a ritual of sorts, if placed within the context of postmodern neo-primitive spirituality, a “male mystery.” There American men gathered at the barbershop, bonded with each other, and “talked of affairs,” largely irregardless of their relative social position or beliefs.

This could, if this ritual had survived to the modern day, have led to some interesting conversations…

George Bush and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barber shop.

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in his chair reached for the aftershave.

Obama was quick to stop him saying, No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think Ive been in a whorehouse.

The second barber turned to Bush and said, How about you, sir?

Bush replied, Go ahead. My wife doesnt know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.

Yep. It might have led to some odd exchanges indeed. 😉

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Mow The Yard

Only the British could come up with a commercial like this for a simple, utilitarian household product. It’s both oddly disturbing and extremely funny. No other nation that I know of can so successfully combine sarcasm, prurient interest and humor to such good effect – and then actually allow it to air on television.

It’s almost bikini season, ladies – time to mow the yard.

Wilkinson Sword, which is marketed as Schick in America, came up with the risque but hilariously funny commercial for their Quattro bikini razors.

Sadly, this commercial is never, ever, ever going to air in the United States. Schick carefully chose to air this commercial within the US instead. That was probably a wise move on their part. The American people are largely too prudish and uptight about sex and sexuality too accept a commercial like that on television.

There would also be the problem of the American variety of Feminists. I can judge imagine the shrill shrieks of outrage from that quarter should the “Mow The Yard” ever be shown in the US. Strident howls about the exploitation of women and the “Patriarchy” would be heard from coast to coast. The calls for boycotting Schick would follow close on the sensible-and-comfortable heels of those rants.

Oh well, thank the Gods for YouTube; we still get to enjoy the humor and nobody has to listen to the complaints. 😉

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