Americans vs. Liberals

There are a lot of differences between Americans and Liberals.

If an American doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
If a Liberal doesn’t like guns, ze wants all guns outlawed.

If an American is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a Liberal is a vegetarian, ze wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If an American is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If an Liberal is homosexual, ze demands legislated respect.

If an American is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
If a Liberal is down-and-out ze wonders who is going to take care of him.

If an American doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
If a Liberal doesn’t like a talk show host, ze demands that they be shut down.

If an American is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
If a Liberal is a non-believer, ze wants any mention of God and religion silenced.

If an American decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
If a Liberal decides he needs health care, ze demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If an American reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
If a Liberal reads this, ze’ll delete, block, or report it because ze’s “offended.”

Yes, there’s a lot of differences and those differences are fundamental, incontrovertible, intractable, and unlikely to be resolved through any peaceful means.

Related Reading:

America (2017-) #1
The Conservative
Conservatives Without Conscience
Politics from A to Z
The Onion Book of Known Knowledge: A Definitive Encyclopaedia Of Existing Information

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Dangerous Questions

The interaction between adults, especially adults in titular positions of authority, and children is always interesting and often amusing.

President Obama went to a primary school to talk to the kids. After his talk he offered question time. One little boy put up his hand, and Obama asks him his name. The little boy responded that his name is Walter.

“And what is your question, Walter?” Asked Obama.

“I have four questions” Said Walter.

“First, why do you think you can negotiate a treaty with Iran without Congress?”

“Second, why did you grant amnesty to millions when you said earlier you didn’t have the authority to do so?”

“Third, why did you say that Bowe Bergdahl served with “honor and distinction” yet now he’s being charged with desertion?”

“Fourth, why was Hillary Clinton allowed to run a private email server when that clearly broke the law?”

Just then, the bell rang for recess and Obama informed the kiddies that they would continue after recess.

When they resumed, Obama said, “OK, where were we? Oh, thats right: question time. Who has a question?”

Another little boy put up his hand.

Obama pointed him out and asked him his name.

“Steve,” he responded.

“And what is your question, Steve?” Asked Obama.

Looking slightly worried, little Steve responded, “Actually, I have two questions: First, why did the recess bell ring 20 minutes early? Second, what happened to Walter?”

And so the class learned an important life lesson.

Never Question ObamaNever Question The Supreme Leader

There is always a certain amount of risk in questioning authority but there is often great peril in questioning those who are unworthy of authority or who have gained or maintained it through less savory means.

Related Reading:

The Going-To-Bed Book
Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things
America's First Daughter: A Novel
The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion
School's First Day of School

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Government Response

We should all remember that America is a nation of both laws and government agencies who are the sole holders of the mandates to affect the enforcement of those laws and to provide the services and protections deriving from them. It’s really not our place to do other than report what we observe. 😉

While hiking down along the border this morning, I saw a Muslim extremist fall into the Rio Grande River. He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he was carrying.

Along with him was a Mexican who was also struggling to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs that was strapped to his back. If they didn’t get help, they’d surely drown.

Being a responsible Texan and abiding by the law to help those in distress, I informed the El Paso County Sheriff’s Office and Homeland Security.

It is now 4 PM, both have drowned, and neither authority has responded. I’m starting to think I wasted two stamps.

— Sam Elliot

Please also remember that you cannot be compelled to render any form of aid or assistance to anyone. Nor can you be compelled to report a crime that you witness.

Feel free to let the various and sundry agencies of the government respond to such things.

Related Reading:

Freedom Over Me: Eleven Slaves, Their Lives and Dreams Brought to Life by Ashley Bryan (Coretta Scott King Illustrator Honor Books)
Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things
Freedom!
I Miss You: A First Look at Death
Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids

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