Fly The Friendly Skies

A lot of people dont like flying, especially the long, transatlantic flights. I can understand that but sometimes the people on the flight make it all worthwhile.

A man boarded an aircraft at Londons Heathrow Airport for New York. As he settled into his seat he noticed a stunningly beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realized she was heading straight toward his row and bingo she took the seat right beside him.

Hello, he blurted out, Business trip or vacation?

She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, Business. Im going to the annual Nymphomaniac convention in the United States.

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, Whats your business role at this convention?

Lecturer, she responded, I use my experience to disprove some of the popular myths about sexuality.

Really, he smiled, what myths are those?

Well, she explained, one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed when, in fact, its the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential lovers, factoring in all categories, are the Irish.

Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. Im sorry, she said. I really shouldnt be discussing this with you; I dont even know your name!

Tonto, the man said, smiling. Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy.

Unsurprisingly, while there are a great many sexual myths, there has never been such a myth claiming that men wouldnt say anything to get laid. 😆

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Al-Qaeda Wins After All

In the 10 years that America and the Civilized World have been defending themselves against the Muslims’ jihad humanity has made great strides in both exterminating the vermin and defending people against the vermin’s diseased rage. Sadly, it looks like Al-Qaeda and the other jihadis and terrorists will win after all.

Muslim Terrorist - Spreading The Faith Of IslamIn the aftermath of the Muslims’ terrorist attacks of 9/11 the US government under President Bush Jr. and Vice-President Dick Cheney stepped up and moved strongly and boldly to protect American men, women, and children from further terrorist attacks by America’s Muslim enemies.

One of the most maligned defensive measures was the creation of the Transportation Security Administration (TSA), who are responsible for deny Muslim terrorists access to transcontinental guided missiles – i.e., passenger aircraft – via American airports while still adhering the crippling duress of Political Correctness.

Most, if not quite all, travelers know that the TSA is annoying, obstructive, and “less than best prepared” to do their jobs. Despite the fact that ineconomies of scale, budget constraints, and the sad fact that the Liberals won’t allow them to do their jobs, there’s no denying that the TSA officers are not by any measure very good at their jobs. Yet as bad as they are now, they’re about to become even worse.

Not only has the TSA been allowed to unionize, its “workers” have elected the American Federation of Government Employees (AFGE), a cell of the ineffable AFL-CIO hegemony, as their exclusive representatives because the AFGE promised to eradicate the pay-for-performance system the TSA currently utilizes and replace it with a general schedule based upon seniority instead of merit.

Top priorities include adjusting policies around shift and leave scheduling and moving from the Performance Accountability and Standards System, the agency’s pay-for-performance plan, back to the General Schedule. PASS is “discriminatory and blatantly unfair,” particularly for senior employees, women and minorities, he said.

“The pay system and evaluation of employees to qualify for pay increases is horrible,” he said. “It’s a fraud, and we’re going to lay a lot of sunshine on that through the bargaining process. But bargaining is not the answer. We have to kill that system, and any type of management that cares about employees knows this has to go.”

— John Gage, AFGE National President

It’s a great idea to switch over the organization tasked with keeping the Muslims from crashing airliners into American cities the standard union failure of seniority-based pay scales and promotions. It has, after all, worked so well in the education system and elsewhere.

The real question is whether Gage’s income is being augmented by Al-Qaeda, Al-Shabab, Hamas, and the Taliban or if he supports them due ideology and sharing a common enemy.

It’s not surprising that Gage’s potential deadly agenda set well with the TSA “workers.” The TSA had already had to lower the standards of its Performance and Accountability Standards System in 2008 because only 2% of its employees received the highest rating of “role model,” and only 20& got the next highest mark of “exceeds standards,” these top two rating being the only ones of the four original ratings that qualified for raises under the original system.

So the Muslim terrorists of Al-Qaeda and similar nests of vermin will win after all. Growing laxity and the inability to promote diligence within the TSA means that they will get on board our airlines amd will use them to wreak destruction. I just hope that Americans remember that this will be because of the AFGE and exact a lethal retribution upon their leaders and their leaders’ kith and kin.

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TSA’s Image Problem

TSA Checkpoint - Spoofed SignageThe Transportation Security Administration (TSA) is experiencing a lot of protests against their new backscatter X-ray full body scanners and the enhanced pat downs by TSA personnel which are the allowed alternative to the scans.

This is nothing but an image problem. People are opposed to the intrusive pat downs because they don’t want to be “groped” by the TSA agents.

This is a fixable issue. All it takes is for the TSA to change their image so that people want to be patted down by their agents in our airports. Changing the public image of their personnel would be a good start. 😉

Turning The Onus Into a Perk

Yes, this can work and has worked well in the past. All it takes is spinning a bug into a feature – at least in the minds of the consumers, in this case the flying public.

One thing – they let women be fondled by female agents, but what about we men? Can I demand a female TSA agent to fondle my junk rather than undergo a homosexual sexual assault?

If General Electric (GE) can try to shift the current image of coal as an energy source and the image of coal mining as a disgusting, dirty, dangerous, and mind-numbingly degrading means of making the rent, then the TSA should be able to adjust people’s opinion of the full body scans and enhanced pat downs.


GE’s Model Miners – Making Coal A Beautiful Way To Heat Up

Of course one would hope that the TSA would learn from GE Energy’s mistakes. Their setting their quasi-erotic Model Miner commercial to the tune of Tennessee Ernie Ford’s cover of Merle Travis’ Sixteen Tons, a song about how much working in a coal mine sucks, was avoidable error.

The TSA’s image problem is fixable. It just takes a bit of creativity, good marketing, a faith in the prurience of the masses. 😆

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