Ecumenical Offense

Here you go – a little ecumenical offense…

Our Deer Lord
Our Deer Lord

It probably is, or should be, equally offensive to Christian and Pagan alike. Whether you follow Yeshua ben Yosef or Cernunnos, there’s something to this image that will likely strike a chord of offensiveness in you.

You know what the great part is though? It’s that Christian and Pagan alike will do little more than roll their eyes or leave a comment displaying their dislike for my irreverence. They won’t threaten – or try – to kill me or riot worldwide over this.

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Of Pagans & Light Bulbs

Riddle me this; how many of each of the more common types of Pagans does it respectively take to change a light bulb?

Q: How many Gardnerians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: (In a low, ominous tone) Why do you want to know initiate?

Q: How many Alexandrines does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Unknown. They will wait to watch how the Gardnerians do it to perform in the same way.

Q: How many British Tradition Wiccans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 13. One to change the bulb, and 12 to mourn the passing of the old bulb.

Q: How many Thelemites does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None Thelemites embrace the dark as well as the light.

Q: How many Frost School of Wicca Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just you! Thats right, YOU! And for only $195 well send you our complete Witches Magic Power of Light Bulb Changing Course with real knowledge that you can apply this to ANY light bulb ANYwhere! Listen to the testimony of a young couple from Wisconsin who

Q: How many IOT members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:Sorry, that ritual is copyrighted.

Q: How many Proteans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I cant tell youwe never change a light bulb the same way twice!

Q: How many ADF druids does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to change the bulb, one to write a song about how much better the old bulb was, and four to write conflicting parodies of the second Druids song.

Q: How many Shamans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They just change shape into a cat or bat, and can see in the dark.

Q: How many Tantrics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 2, as long as the lamp is by the bed

Q: How many Ceremonial Magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he has to do it on the 3rd Friday of a month when the Moon is in Taurus and its the fifth planetary hourand its not funny!

Q: How many Druids does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 501. One to change the bulb and 500 to align the new stone.

Q: How many Family Traditionalists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Candle light was good enough for our ancestors, its good enough for us!

Q: How many Astrologers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Dont ask me now, Mercurys retrograde!

Q: How many Pagans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to change it, and five to sit around complaining that light bulbs never burned out before those Christians came along.

Q: How many Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Into what?

Q: How many Asatruar does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, there is plenty of light coming from the burning monastery

Q: How many Macumba (Brazilian counterpart of Voodoo) practitioners does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two one babalorisha (priest) just to yell that the light bulb is burned and a Yawo (novice) to change the bulb

Q: How many Theosophists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. By the time they finish discussing whether the light bulb needs changing, the proper method in which to change the light bulb, how it might have been done historically, and how everybody else changes light bulbs, its already daylight.

But let us remember what is important. The light bulbs were changed – or not – and the Gods are well-pleased by their worshipers. 😉

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Queens Makes History

Dan Hollerman, NY City Councilman for Queens' District 19 - He's both Pagan / Heathen and a RepublicanNew York City’s Borough of Queens made American history on Tuesday November 3, 2009. It elected the first openly Pagan public official in America. Dan Halloran, who is openly Pagan or Heathen – specifically he’s a Thodsman – won the race for City Councilman in New York City’s 19th District in northeast Queens.

What seems to come as a jarring shock to many people is that, not only is Dan Halloran a Heathen – his sect prefers that term over Pagan – he’s a Republican. Mr. Halloran dispelled the entwined myths that Pagans are Liberals and that the GOP is a Christian party.

Dan Hollerman - TheodsmanHalloran won a decisive 52.5 – 47.5% victory over his Democrat opponent, Kevin Kim, in a bitter election struggle in which Kim, his Asian constituents, and the NY Democrat party used every dirty political trick in the book to defeat him.

Chief among these tactics was, of course, to use Halloran’s religion against him. They tried to both scare the Catholics and to paint Thodism, a Norse-based folkway, as a White Supremacist, Neo-Nazi cult to scare the non-Whites.

In the end the campaign of fear, prejudice, and religious intolerance waged by Kevin Kim and the Democrats failed. Not even allegedly busing in voters from out of the district and possibly out of state was sufficient to secure the 19th District’s NY City Council seat for Kim.

And so it came to pass that the borough of Queens, of all the unexpected places, was the first place in US History to elect an openly Pagan or Heathen public official.

Now the Pagan community is being forced to reassess who it’s members are, since they’ve been axe slapped with a fact that they had largely heretofore refused to see – that we’re not all, or even mostly, Liberals and/or Democrats. And now the people of America are going to have to reassess just who makes up the GOP and the Conservative movement; it’s not just the Christian Right and never has been just them.

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