With a little help from Coed Cherry’s Anne FTV I’ve condensed the core of the internet down to a single post.
The Condensed Internet: Naked Babes & Cats
Really! That’s what the internet is – naked or semi-naked babes and cats…with a light “leavening” of mean-spirited comments, and I’ve condensed what of it I can; the mean comments are up to my readers. ðŸ˜‰
Cat’s know coffee, often better than humans do. They know what is good coffee and what is not.
Of course one must remember that cats’ knowledge of coffee and their discenment between what is good and what is not is not instinctual. It is a learned behavior and there’s little that’s funnier than a kitten’s first lesson in the mysteries of bean and roast.
Whoah! So That’s Coffee
It might seem odd to many that cats know coffee. Most do not realize that cats are very spiritual and, hence, know both the perilous power of coffee and what things lurk just beyond the tenuous barrier between the planes.
They know that your order of a Venti, sugar-free, non-fat, vanilla soy, double shot, decaffinated, no foam, extra hot, Peppermint White Chocolate Peppermint Mocha with light whip, upside-down, 1 pump of peppermint, 1 and 3/8 pumps vanilla, 180 degrees, heavy whip-cream, 3 ice cubes, 1/4 teaspoon Nutmeg sprinkled on top, with green sprinkles, lightly cinnamon dusted on, stirred, with no lid, double cupped, and a straw is dangerously close to an eldritch incantation that would have devastating consequences upon yourself and our world.
Phâ€™nglui Mglwâ€™nafh Cthulhu Râ€™lyeh Wgahâ€™nagl Fhtagn
Coffee is good but it is powerful. Learn from your cats; they know coffee. Order and drink responsibly so as not to cause your barista to rip a hole in space-time to the Outer Darkness that would allow the Elder Old Ones to return and retake this, their world…and your coffee.
The internet is, to most people’s minds, a fairly new bit of technology. It’s not though. It’s just incremental advancement in technology serving the same needs and desires as its antecedents.
Yep! People Writing On Walls And Worshiping Cats
History doesn’t so much repeat itself as people repaint and reinvent the same things and call it “new and improved.” ðŸ˜†
And, for those that might care, pick up a copy of The Victorian Internet and really get laugh at how little or nothing has changed.
Living with cats is normally pleasant but it is also “interesting” because, by and large, cats don’t behave the way that humans normally expect them to behave. Explaining cats then becomes necessary to a happy home.
First, one must understand how cats see the world, especially the bed…
This viewpoint of the bed can be explained by analyzing the brain of a cat. As can be seen, it’s differs from most others’.
Finally, you just have to accept that science can’t explain all of cats’ behavior. One just has to realize how cats see themselves in relation to the rest of the world…
See? Explaining cats isn’t too difficult. I’m not sure how satisfying the explanations are, but they’re not difficult to arrive at. ðŸ˜‰