Celebrate The 4th!

I’m hoping all, or as many as is possible given the needs of work, celebrate Independence Day, this July 4th. It is after all, a singular day in both America’s and world’s history.

The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more.

You will think me transported with Enthusiasm but I am not. — I am well aware of the Toil and Blood and Treasure, that it will cost Us to maintain this Declaration, and support and defend these States. — Yet through all the Gloom I can see the Rays of ravishing Light and Glory. I can see that the End is more than worth all the Means. And that Posterity will tryumph in that Days Transaction, even altho We should rue it, which I trust in God We shall not.

— John Adams
Letter from John Adams to Abigail Adams, 3 July 1776


As it turns out, Mr. Adams was off by two days. Americans have always celebrated our Independence on July 4th, the date that the Second Continental Congress approved the wording of the Declaration of Independence, not on July 2nd, the date they voted to approve a resolution of independence from British rule.

And, since times have changed more than a little in the intervening 240 year, to these time-tested enthusiasms of: shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, let us add sexy babes in flagkinis.

Celebrate The 4th of July!

Besides, Americans joyously and raucously celebrating the Fourth of July with their bikini body out for everyone to see tends to piss of our domestic enemies, the Liberals and Progressives, who consider such displays jingoistic examples of Atavistic Nationalism. Hence, active participation in Independence Day celebrations is nigh on to being a declaration of allegiance and an act of patriotism.

So I sat unto you all, gather together and raise up a joyous noise onto the Heavens this July 4th!

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