Biblical Marriage

In the past I’ve made some sarcastic posts about DOMA and traditional aka biblical marriage. To continue in that vein here’s an instructional video by Betty Bowers on traditional marriage as defined by biblical precedent:


Betty Bowers on Traditional Marriage Per The Bible

Yes, the video is needlessly harsh, insulting, and sarcastic. It also uses some pretty far-fetched interpretation of biblical passages – e.g., there’s no theological basis for saying Eve seduced Cain; it’s far more likely that he took one of his unnamed in the Bible sisters to wife. That doesn’t, however, mean that it doesn’t contain a number of simple truths about what Yahweh supposed endorses by way of marriage.

King SolomonChristians, you need to read your Bible; it is, after all, your holy book and, as such, more than worthy of individual study.

In it are many passages that show that Abraham’s God seemed to have little or no problem with many forms of marriage beyond “one man and one woman.” Indeed, nowhere’s in the Bible is monogamy ever explicitly described as a requirement.

Divorce, contrariwise, was expressly forbidden in both Old and New Testaments.

On the other hand, the Bible does maintain that same-sex marriage, along with a number of other acts now generally considered OK, is right out, forbidden, and an abomination to be treated with abhorrence and lethal violence.

Remember, God hates fags – though possibly not lesbians, multi-cropping / under-planting, poly-cotton blends, gaudy jewelry, and shellfish. 😛

So, my dear Christian sometimes-allies, have some fun with this if you can. Think a bit on it though; there’s truth buried in any bit of humor, elsewise it wouldn’t be funny.

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4 Responses to “Biblical Marriage”

  1. cmblake6 Says:

    So we could go with the “God didn’t create Adam and Steve” thing, or we could simply look at biology. To be a bit crude, a baby does not come out of another man’s ass, nor can a woman impregnate another woman unless she has a mouthful of man juice. It really is that simple.

  2. jonolan Says:

    You sort of lost me.

    Whether or not you go with Yahweh creating Adam and Eve or not is immaterial to the fact that the Bible seems to indicate that He has little or no problem with marriages that are not limited to One Man & One Woman as many of the modern Christians endorse as biblical.

    Now does any of it even imply that homosexuality is OK? Nope.

  3. cmblake6 Says:

    No, and I never would infer that the Bible indicates homosexuality being okay. It is, as you pointed out elsewhere, an “abomination worthy of death”. What I was saying was in relation to biology. A man cannot impregnate another man, nor a woman a woman. That being the reason for marriage in the first place, to “be fruitful and multiply”. Even if you want to look at the Bible as a rulebook invented by man, not God, it still makes total sense to follow the biological reason for coupling, and the channels for distribution of property to the next generation. The fruit of your loins receives your legacy.

  4. jonolan Says:

    None of that is really the point of my post and I’m – at least right now – going to get into a discussion of the purpose for marriage – perhaps later, in a post of its own.

    My point was that there’s a number of Christians that keep ranting that the Bible demands that marriage be between one man and one woman only and that this assertion is without real merit if one really reviews the Bible.

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