Crying At Starbucks

They're Crying At StarbucksYes, it’s true; Liberal Tears are quite common at Starbucks these days. Millennials especially are weeping into their overpriced and over-roasted coffee-esque beverages. The quiet sobbing and sniffling, punctuated by the occasional bouts of weeping, wailing, cursing, and the gnashing of teeth, has really changed the ambience of many Starbucks, most especially those in the Liberal and Progressive controlled coastal regions.

Not but what these people have great reasons to cry, twenty of the most common ones being listed below.

20 Reasons Millennials Are Crying At Starbucks

  1. There was a 10 minute wait for the Pumpkin Spice Latte
  2. The Barista didn’t use the proper gender pronoun
  3. Because President Trump is on the TV
  4. Because there are no safe spaces in the real world
  5. They took a Buzzfeed quiz that guessed their gender correctly
  6. They see someone wearing a #MAGA t-shirt
  7. Their parents called asking them to move out of the basement
  8. The guilt of supporting a free-market economy
  9. They accidentally swiped right on a Conservative’s profile
  10. Bernie still isn’t President
  11. Hillary still isn’t President
  12. Trump still is President
  13. They spilled coffee on their new “Che” t-shirt
  14. They saw an American flag and it wasn’t being stepped upon
  15. They found out what Socialism actually means
  16. They want to join ANTIFA but parents won’t let them
  17. They want to use violence to stop free-speech but can’t fight
  18. Couldn’t recall the difference between further and farther
  19. Whole Foods rejected employment application…yet again
  20. Wondering if that Liberal Art’s degree was actually worth it

Poor things – They were betrayed by reality which refused to abide by their wishes. Worse, they’ve spent their entire lives being taught that they were entitled to get whatever they want, whenever they want it. So now, they can’t cope with having lost everything.

Related Reading:

The Natural Superiority of the Left-Hander
The Crying Tree: A Novel
The Sarcasm Handbook
The FBI War on Tupac Shakur and Black Leaders: U.S. Intelligence's Murderous Targeting of Tupac, MLK, Malcolm, Panthers, Hendrix, Marley, Rappers and Linked Ethnic Leftists
Accents and Flags: A Boring Three Centuries Of Murder, Rape and Genocide with a Hilarious Sense of Pessimism

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