Back in January, I passed along LaShaun Williams’ sage advice to Black women on how they should get it right and date, marry, and reproduce with White men as opposed to Black males. Recently it was pointed out to me – quite pointedly – that this advice only works if Black women have the opportunity to do these things with White men.
If White men don’t consider Black women as potential partners and mates, this advice wasted.
So, my fellow White men, we need to embrace the spirit of America being the land of opportunity. One could say, without being far wrong, that it is our patriotic duty to so and to consider Black women as well when reviewing our dating and mating options.
It’s No Act Of Charity
As you can see, gentlemen, adding Black women to the list of potential mates is not act of charity. In this case providing a hand up is no hand out; it’s enlightened self-interest. 😉
And, leaving beauty aside for a moment, Black women are somewhat more likely to be educated than White women. Based upon average yearly college enrollments, 9% of Black women have at least some college education whereas on 7% of White women do.
“Jungle Fever” is offensive and is degrading to all parties involved, so I’m not suggesting you make this a fetish of some sort. Similarly, I not suggesting that all things being equal, you choose to date and mate Black instead of White. No, gentlemen, I’m merely saying that you shouldn’t limit yourself to just White women.
Sometimes doing the “right” thing is not in any way a chore. 😉
You Black women in America really need to reconsider your dating, relationship, marriage, and reproductive choices and you need to do so soon.
You may well think that there is nothing more physically beautiful on this earth than a dark skinned Black man, and there’s nothing wrong with in and of itself. Outside of that physical preference, however, there are a plethora of more financially, intellectually, and emotionally stable options – and they’re White.
The counter proposal or rebuttal to, “Once you’ve gone Black you’ll never go back,” is “Once you’ve gone White you’ll know you’ve got it right.”
Here are eight reasons in no particular order why White men just might be the better choice for you Black ladies:
They open wide instead of down low
Gay White men tend to be more forthcoming about their status with family and friends. The down low phenomenon is less prevalent, which preserves the battery usage on your gaydar and relieves the stress of dissecting every male relationship.
Not looking for someone to take care of them
Thanks to the absence of family, fathers and marriage in the Black community, a great number of our men have backward expectations when it comes to romantic relationships. A higher percentage of White men come from stronger family structures and more traditional gender roles, where the men seek to care for the women.
Attend and graduate from college
Black women are graduating from college and Black men continue to drop out. As a result, degrees become intimidating when dating Black men. In White culture, education is valued and expected. Thus, White men have no problem dating educated women with advanced degrees. It is impressive rather than intimidating.
At least attempt to marry before making babies
For whatever reason, White men just donâ€™t have children sprinkled all over the world like Black men. And, if they do, most of them were married to the mother at some point. Sure, they divorce but you can only divorce if you at least attempt a marriage.
They donâ€™t glamourize ignorance
They may listen to rap music, but they are smart enough not to act it out. The â€œthug lifeâ€ is not something to be aspired. White men have a firmer grasp on what really defines manhood.
Financial planning and stability
Black people, especially men, are always trying to shineâ€”often spending more money than they have. White men tend to be more educated in the area of finance with a greater understanding of retirement planning, savings, investments, etc. This is mostly due to a higher level of exposure and teaching, but all that matters is they know and make better decisions than Black men when it comes to managing money.
Have the ability to look beyond your past
Ever wonder why White people can date the friends of exes and so on? Itâ€™s because they donâ€™t let the past hinder the present. Promiscuous Black men think they deserve to settle down with virgins, and allow past relationships to haunt the present. Not White men. They have no problem turning a hoe into a housewife.
Donâ€™t take everything as a challenge to their masculinity
Intimidation and insecurity are two reasons for the rift between Black men and women. As a result of their insecurities and low self-esteem, Black men are intimidated by the strength of an educated and ambitious Black woman. Rather than seeing her as a strong teammate, she is a threat to their manhood. Thus, they feel the need to overcompensate. White men, on the other hand, are more secure. What Black men see as threatening is what makes a great wife and business partner to them.
OK, cue the race baiters and their screeching cries of racism because I, a White man, dared to write those eight reasons why White men might be a better choice for Black women than men of their own race. Oops! I didn’t write them. LaShaun Williams, who happens to be a Black woman, wrote them in 2010 for Madame Noire. I do, however, largely agree with most of Mrs. Williams’ assertions and don’t disagree with any of them.
It should, however, be noted that I have a personal bias in this matter. One of my wives is a strong, educated, Black woman – one who isn’t High Yellow and who doesn’t have “Good Hair.”
But seriously! You Black women really need to consider branching out and away from Black men. This holds doubly true for you educated Black women; the majority of Black males have little to offer you in the long run and those relative few who do are be sought by other Black women and Latina and White women as well.
So give Vanilla a chance and you just may agree that “Once you’ve gone White you’ll know you’ve got it right.”