Cats Know Coffee

Cat’s know coffee, often better than humans do. They know what is good coffee and what is not.
 

cattachino Cappuccino
cattachino-decaf Decaf Cappuccino
 
Of course one must remember that cats’ knowledge of coffee and their discenment between what is good and what is not is not instinctual. It is a learned behavior and there’s little that’s funnier than a kitten’s first lesson in the mysteries of bean and roast.

Whoah Coffee
Whoah! So That’s Coffee

It might seem odd to many that cats know coffee. Most do not realize that cats are very spiritual and, hence, know both the perilous power of coffee and what things lurk just beyond the tenuous barrier between the planes.

They know that your order of a Venti, sugar-free, non-fat, vanilla soy, double shot, decaffinated, no foam, extra hot, Peppermint White Chocolate Peppermint Mocha with light whip, upside-down, 1 pump of peppermint, 1 and 3/8 pumps vanilla, 180 degrees, heavy whip-cream, 3 ice cubes, 1/4 teaspoon Nutmeg sprinkled on top, with green sprinkles, lightly cinnamon dusted on, stirred, with no lid, double cupped, and a straw is dangerously close to an eldritch incantation that would have devastating consequences upon yourself and our world.

cthulhuccino
Ph’nglui Mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh Wgah’nagl Fhtagn

Coffee is good but it is powerful. Learn from your cats; they know coffee. Order and drink responsibly so as not to cause your barista to rip a hole in space-time to the Outer Darkness that would allow the Elder Old Ones to return and retake this, their world…and your coffee.

Related Reading:

The Cthulhu Mythos
Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed (and Other Heartwarming Letters from Kitty)
Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened
World War Cthulhu: A Collection of Lovecraftian War Stories
Homo sayswhaticus

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