Assassination Attempt?

Tragedy struck the White House Monday, July 13, 2009. Midway through his speech on urban and metropolitan policy in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building, the Teleprompter, correctly referred to as TOTUS, came crashing down and shattered into hundreds of fragments.


The Teleprompter-in-Chief Crashes

Fortunately the Vice-TOTUS, standing to Obama’s right was able to smoothly get Obama’s attention and finish the speech.

Authorities have not, as of this posting, released the status of the TOTUS. We must just hope and pray that the White Technical Staff can save him.

Our thoughts and prayers should go out to the TOTUS. Leadership aside, who will read bedtimes stories to Sasha and Malia in his absence?

Questions remain as to whether this tragedy was caused by stress and overwork or if it was an assassinate attempt. If the latter, I’d humbling suggest investigating Vice-President Joe Biden; he has a longstanding hatred of the Teleprompter.

It could also have been – if it was an assassination attempt as opposed to a stress-related breakdown – instigated by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. She is likely still bitter of the 2008 Demcratic Primary race and people who have aggrivated or embarrassed her have had the odd habit of dying suddenly…

Related Reading:

The 50 Funniest American Writers*: An Anthology of Humor from Mark Twain to The Onion
Promise Me, Dad: A Year of Hope, Hardship, and Purpose
Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things
Hope Never Dies: An Obama Biden Mystery (Obama Biden Mysteries)
Theories of International Politics and Zombies: Revived Edition

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4 Responses to “Assassination Attempt?”

  1. josephmeehan Says:

    this is awesome

    the TOTUS thing cracks me up

    i say assassination attempt by the Right – they probly think Obama will fail hard without his teleprompter!

  2. jonolan Says:

    LOL It could have been the Right I suppose. None of them are in line for the succession though, so it’s a bit of a stretch.

  3. Designated Conservative Says:

    Like a car with a flat tire, president Obama’s head kept pulling towards the missing TOTUS, and then jerking back right towards his lone remaining crutch. Very funny post!

  4. jonolan Says:

    Yes, it can be quite painful all concerned, even spectators, to wean an infant off the teat – and the TOTUS is certainly Pres. Obama’s Glass Teat.

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