Important Conversions

Science and technology, especially engineering require precise and specific measurements for the important sake of accurately completing necessary mathematical calculations. These are esoteric and often insular disciplines however, and many of these measurements and their more important conversions are not well known outside of the circles of engineering.

  • The ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = eskimo pie
  • 2,000 lbs of Chinese soup = won ton
  • 1 millionth of a mouthwash¬† = 1 microscope
  • The time between slipping on a peel and hitting the pavement = 1 bananosecond
  • Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
  • Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile / hour = knotfurlong
  • 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer = 1 lite year
  • 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
  • 1/2 of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
  • 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
  • Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
  • Shortest distance between two jokes = a straight line
  • 2,000 mockingbirds = 2 killomockingbird
  • 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 fig newton
  • 1,000cc of wet socks = 1 literhosen
  • 8 nickels = 2 paradigms

Enjoy and remember that, by any measure, humor converts to reduction in stress and the clearing of the mind.

Related Reading:

Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened
Let's Pretend This Never Happened
Jokelopedia, Third Edition: The Biggest, Best, Silliest, Dumbest Joke Book Ever!
The Second Machine Age: Work, Progress, and Prosperity in a Time of Brilliant Technologies

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3 Responses to “Important Conversions”

  1. FX Phillips Says:

    2,000 mockingbirds = 1 killomockingbird

    So I guess 4,000 mockingbirds = 2killomockingbird?

  2. jonolan Says:

    No, FX. That was simply a typo that I failed to proofread. It’s fixed now and thanks.

  3. FX Phillips Says:

    I try to be of service where I can. LOL.

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