Reflections From a Murky Pond

PETA, in their bottomless stupidity, ignorance – yes, they manage to be both somehow – and arrogance wants to re-educate America’s children. In an effort to twist the minds of America’s youths PETA wants to indoctrinate them into calling fish “Sea Kittens.” But, if the Liberals actually allow PETA’s agenda into the schools and classrooms of America, what will they teach our children? What exactly is a Sea Kitten?

Felis Marinus

Common Names(s):Sea Kitten, Oceanic Split Tail, Yummy Things

Felis Marinus is a family of sea creatures that encompasses a variety of individual genera and species. There is a great deal of variance in the physiognomy, not only between species but also between individual specimens of the same species.

In an effort to further our children’s “education” I’ve provided sample images of some of the more well established branches of the Sea Kitten family. Biology is part of America’s core curriculum after all. 😉

Not exactly NSFW, but I put the lesson in biology, taxonomy, and species identification after the break just in case.

Tags: Babes | Food & Drink | PETA | Sarcasm | Seafood | Sex | Society

This entry was posted on Monday, January 26th, 2009 at 3:50 pm and is filed under Humor, Society. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

PETA has reached a new nadir in ridiculous behavior. PETA has decided that fish should be renamed “Sea Kittens” in order to indoctrinate children against eating them.

Our constitution guarantees their right to try anything of this sort that they wish to, but this idea exhibits a level of stupidity bordering on outright insanity.

In their own gibbering mouthings:

People don’t seem to like fish. They’re slithery and slimy, and they have eyes on either side of their pointy little heads—which is weird, to say the least. Plus, the small ones nibble at your feet when you’re swimming, and the big ones—well, the big ones will bite your face off if Jaws is anything to go by.

Of course, if you look at it another way, what all this really means is that fish need to fire their PR guy—stat. Whoever was in charge of creating a positive image for fish needs to go right back to working on the Britney Spears account and leave our scaly little friends alone. You’ve done enough damage, buddy. We’ve got it from here. And we’re going to start by retiring the old name for good. When your name can also be used as a verb that means driving a hook through your head, it’s time for a serious image makeover. And who could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten?

— PETA
Sea Kitten Campaign

Thankfully our constitution also guarantees people like me the right to mock and ridicule the potentially dangerous lunatics at PETA. I say “potentially dangerous” because, it’s possible that these nutjobs could manage to achieve some of the ends to the detriment of civilized people everywhere. True, it’s highly doubtful since nobody with a functioning set of prefrontal lobes thinks of PETA as anything other than useful source of picture of naked celebrities, but it could happen and campaigns meant to brainwash our children are possibly PETA’s best chance at achieving their agenda.

So, to take a page out of PETA’s own playbook, let’s conflate sex with the topic at hand. This will serve the dual purposes of gaining a great deal of attention and making the Sea Kitten topic unsuitable for children in the minds of society. My outline of the basic concept of the counter-campaign reside below the break. It is NSFW.

Tags: Babes | Food & Drink | Humor | PETA | Sarcasm | Seafood | Sex | Society

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 18th, 2009 at 6:14 pm and is filed under Society. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.