Reflections From a Murky Pond

There’s always one question that preys upon the minds of Americans: why do some people vote for the Leftists’ political front-group, the Democrats?

Obviously, there has to a reason or reasons for this behavior pattern. An antisocial pathology doesn’t, in and of itself, explain their voting patterns. And so the question keeps niggling at our minds.

In an effort to put Americans’ minds to rest on this question I’ve compiled a list of 12 reasons why some residents within America’s borders keep voting for Democrats:

1. They voted Democrat because they believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t obscene.
2. They voted Democrat because they believe the government will do a better job of spending the money they earn than they would.
3. They voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
4. They voted Democrat because they’re way too irresponsible to own a gun, and they know that the local police are all they need to protect them from murderers and thieves.
5. They voted Democrat because they believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if they don’t start driving a Prius.
6. They voted Democrat because they’re not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
7. They voted Democrat because they think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.
8. They voted Democrat because they believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.
9. They voted Democrat because they believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
10. They voted Democrat because they think that it’s better to pay billions to people who hate us for their oil, than to drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle or gopher.
11. They voted Democrat because while we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world, they were promised “HOPE AND CHANGE”.
12. They voted Democrat because their minds are so firmly made up, it’s unlikely that they’ll ever have another point of view.
13. They voted Democrat because they’re jackasses and like calls to like.

Personally, I think Reason 13 is the primary causative factor, but I’m sure the other twelve play a major role as well. 😉

Of course these reasons only apply to non-union, White Liberals. The minorities have pragmatic reasons for voting Democrats: hand-outs and race-based lowering of expectations and requirements. For the unions it’s simply maintaining their power and seeking a return on their outsized fiduciary investment in Democrat politicians.

Tags: America | Democrats | Humor | Jokes | Liberals | Progressives | Voting

This entry was posted on Saturday, November 5th, 2011 at 2:04 pm and is filed under Humor, Politics. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.