VA Castrates Truckers

VA. State Delegate tries to cut truckers’ nuts off!

Lionel Spruill - VA. State DelegateVirginia State Delegate Lionel Spruill introduced a bill Tuesday, January 15, 2008, to ban displaying replicas of human genitalia on vehicles, calling it a safety issue because it could distract other drivers.

Under Mr. Spruill’s proposed measure, displaying the ornamentation on a motor vehicle would be an offense punishable by a maximum fine of $250.

They’re offensive to some folks. It’s OK to express yourself, but citizens have the right not to be subjected to something vulgar.

— VA State Delegate Lionel Spruill

The 61 year old Spruill, a Democrat from Portsmouth, claims that the idea came from a constituent whose young daughter had spotted the facsimile sex organs dangling from the back of a truck and asked her father to explain them.

Hey! That big truck is just a facimile penis, why shouldn’t it have testicles too?

The man apparently complained that he had been left speechless when his six-year-old daughter spotted a pair and asked him what they were.

Spruill said he became concerned when he learned that the truck accessories had got larger as their popularity had increased. “How big are they going to go?” he said. “When will it stop?”

This completely cracked me up, especially since Spruill is quoted as opposing Virginia’s “Drooping Drawers” legislation with the line, “Let these kids express themselves. It will pass on.” I guess Spruill is either more offended by plastic testicles than he is by living butt cheeks, or he has some sort of inferiority complex.

Mr. Spruill, I heartily suggest that you contact BullsBalls and get yourself a pair so you don’t feel so left out. They have them in an assortment of sizes and colors, so I’m sure you can find a suitable pair without castrating American trucks to get them. LOL!

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