Of Fish And Fishing

Here’s a breakdown of the political views of the Liberals and the Conservatives as it relates to fish and fishing. The axiom involved seems a good foundation for the groups’ views on intervention and personal responsibility within the constraints of political and economic power:

Conservatives’ Viewpoint:
If you give a man a fish, you feed him for one night. If you teach a man to fish, he feeds himself every night and you don’t have to give him any more of your own fish.

Liberals’ Viewpoint:
If you give a man a fish, he owes you once. If you teach a man to fish, he wont need you any more and you can’t count on his support in the future.

LOL There’s quite a divide between the two viewpoints. This divide points out the respective political and economic goals of America’s two largest ideological meta-groups, the Liberals and the Conservatives.

Of course there are other groups and individuals who are in the limelight enough for their views to be worth looking at in the same way:

Green Party Viewpoint:
If you give a man a fish, it has to be a Fair Trade fish from a developing nation’s indigenous population. If you teach a man to fish, that man must be from a developing nation’s indigenous population. Teaching a person from a developed nation to fish causes environmental catastrophe and violates the human rights of developing nation’s indigenous populations.

Al Sharpton’s Viewpoint:
The association of fish and fishing with Black people is inherently racist and is an example of the White man’s oppression of the Black people. Black people deserve the fish and White America must give Black America fish as part of the reparations for centuries of oppression!

Libertarian Viewpoint:
If you give a man a fish, that’s your business as long as it was your fish to give. If you teach a man to fish, that’s your business as long as you don’t try to teach him on someone else’s lake, riverbank, or seashore. The man would be better off though if he learned on his own.

Cynthia McKinney’s Viewpoint:
You should only give fish to “people of color;” White people are hording the fish. You should only teach “people of color” to fish. It’s the “Joos” fault that “people of color” don’t know how to fish.

PETA’s Viewpoint:
No! They’re Sea Kittens – it’s morally wrong to eat them or teach people to eat them. Have some kelp instead.

Rush Limbaugh’s Viewpoint:
You can give all the health-Nazi, Liberal non-meat to people that you want, or teach them to get their own as long as you don’t want to use American taxpayers’ money to pay for the teaching. Americans eat meat, not fish – lots, and lots of red meat, potatoes, and gravy. Liberals and RINOs can keep their fish.

My Women’s Viewpoint:
You’d better not give us those fish to clean. Whoever taught jonolan to fish created a monster. How can anyone sit there doing nothing for hours on end and call it a sport? How much is that boat you want!?!

Yep – fishing can be controversial alright. It must be, since the old adage about giving a fish vs. teaching someone to fish can be used without too much effort as I have just done. Hmmm…Any chance of a National Bass Anglers Association (NBASS) party in 2010 or 2012? 😆

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3 Responses to “Of Fish And Fishing”

  1. Josh Brandt Says:

    For your sake I hope your women has a good sense of humor, or doesn’t read your blog, Lol.
    Good article, made me laugh.

  2. Susanne Says:

    Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I especially loved the last one! 😀

  3. Naturallawyer Says:

    That was freaking funny (especially Sharpton and Limbaugh). Good effort, jonolan!

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