Reflections From a Murky Pond

In the past I’ve discussed fish and fishing, and the variety of responses one might get on the subject of teaching a man to fish.

Let’s now look at the age-old riddle, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

What made the 19th century joke funny in its original form funny was that the answer, “To get to the other side” was so blatantly self-evident.

What answers to that riddle might some famous and/or infamous people make, finding them to be blatantly self-evident?

Sarah Palin:
The chicken crossed the road because gosh-darn it, he’s a maverick!

Barack Obama:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!

John McCain:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

Hillary Clinton:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.

Bill Clinton:
I did not cross the road with that chicken.

Monica Lewinsky:
I can prove the chicken crossed the road. I saved the tracks of it doing so.

George W. Bush:
We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us.. There is no middle ground here.

Dick Cheney:
Where’s my gun?

Colin Powell:
To the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

Al Gore:
I invented the chicken.

John Kerry:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

Al Sharpton:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

Cynthia McKinney
It’s because of the “Joos!” The “Joos,” aided by America, forced that chicken off its land and made it flee across the road.

Ban Ki-Moon
The UN strongly believes it is due to the catastrophe of Global Warming. We request $24 Billion from member states to create a special commission to study Global Warming’s effects upon chicken migrations and to draft the UN Convention on Poultry Rights. Israel, of course, will be the first nation charged under that convention.

Dr. Phil:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

Oprah Winfrey:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

Anderson Cooper:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

Nancy Grace:
That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and how he walks.

Pat Buchanan:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

Martha Stewart:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider info.

Jerry Falwell:
Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth? That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my friends, That chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side.’ That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as that.

Barbara Walters:
Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it’s lifelong dream of crossing the road.

Bill Gates:
I have just released eChicken2010, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2010. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

Albert Einstein:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Colonel Sanders:
Did I miss one?

Grandpa Nolan:
In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

Charlie Sheen:
Because he realized that he’s like a Rock Star from friggin’ Mars and he deserved to be on the other side of the street with the Goddess chickens. DUH…it’s called “Winning”!!!

Enjoy! 🙂 And feel free to make any additions you wish via the Comments…

Ban Ki-Moon, the United Nations’ eighth and current Secretary-General has more than a bit of a problem. The UN, far from being a respected and august international body, is rightfully lambasted and lampooned by all citizens of the Civilized World’s nations who actually love their respective countries.

Mr. Moon thought he had a fix though.

If the truth of matters cannot win the hearts and minds of the citizens of the nations upon which the UN feeds like parasite, the only solution is to alter their thinking. Much like a circus ringmaster, Mr. Moon sought to send in the clowns.

Isn’t it rich?
Isn’t it queer?
Losing my timing this late
In my career?
And where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don’t bother – they’re here.

The only problem for Mr. Moon and the failing UN is that the clowns in Hollywood apparently demurred.

UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon took time off from the skirmishes in Libya and other bothers to fight the real threats facing the planet – those coming from the global warming deniers who have thwarted the UN plans for Kyoto II.

“I need your support,” he admitted last week in a pitch to 400 Hollywood movers and shakers in a day-long forum that played up the doom and gloom message — floods, fires and drought – that only Hollywood can sell to a skeptical public.

“Animate these stories!” Ban urged. “Set them to music! Give them life! Together we can have a blockbuster impact on the world.”

The Hollywood crowd, subjected to a day filled with panels with titles like “Making Global Warming a HOT Issue,” seemed sceptical itself. A vice president from Walt Disney, unimpressed by the UN’s two-decades long effort to market climate change to the public, said that it “feels like an early step,” asking “How do you make it marketable, palatable and engaging without preaching?” Another executive noted “the best messaging on climate change by far is by the deniers.”

Ban remains hopeful that he can swing Hollywood his way: “You have power and influence to send to millions and billions of people around world,” he said, adding “Some believe we have 2 or 3 planets, but we don’t. This is the planet we have to preserve and hand to future generations.”

Ban’s visit to Hollywood was part of the UN’s Creative Community Outreach Initiative, a major marketing effort starring himself that counts among its successes its role in the movies, The Interpreter and Che.

When Ban Ki-Moon and the UN can’t even impress Hollywood, which has been pandering to Liberals, Progressives, and any and all Leftist causes they could find, it says a lot about the the utter lack of worth of either the UN’s agenda, their capabilities and integrity, or both.

Even the clowns in suits running the Hollywood studios need any such arrangements between themselves and the United Nations to return value for value and they understand that the UN can’t or won’t do that.

Aristotle’s postulate, “The whole is greater from the sum of its parts” has become an axiom over the intervening 23 centuries since Aristotle wrote the various treatises that would later be compiled into the world’s first seminal work of philosophy, Metaphysics.

Of course “greater” means “larger”,  “more powerful” , or of “greater effect” as opposed to “better.” In the modern age nowhere is this more glaringly apparent than in the Warmists’ theories of Anthropogenic Global Warming (AGW).

The original for the images above can be found at Bishop Hill.

Firstly, the whole of the Warmists’ theories are greater than the sum of their parts. Poor data, small errors, and malfeasance early in the modeling process all combined synergistically  to create either a mistake or a fraud far more potent and “great” than any of it’s individual parts would normally be capable of.

Secondly, climate is, like all systems, far more and greater than the sum of its parts – and the Warmists won’t even deign to look at all – or even most – of those parts. 😉

Fortunately, like all poorly crafted constructs fabricated from substandard components, the Warmists’ hypotheses and theories have collapsed under the weight of public scrutiny.

You just have to love European street protests – Muslim riots being the obvious exception; they can almost always be counted on to be colorful, entertaining, and likely to feature topless women.

Of course sometimes they’re nice but useless, a jaded European populous being uncaring of the message the women are trying to present along with their bodies.

Other times, however, the topless street protests seem completely misguided because what the young women are protesting would seem to actually be served by the women’s naked antics rather than opposed by them. The Ukrainian street protest group, FEMEN falls, in my opinion, into this latter category.

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It may have taken a little over three months for savage animals in the Mexican drug cartels to get rid of the Chief of Police for the battle-torn Mexican towns of Práxedis Guadalupe Guerrero and El Porvenir, Marisol Valles Garcia.

A relative reported that she and two relatives – likely her husband and infant son – had fled to America after receiving received death threats.

Praxedis G. Guerrero town secretary Andres Morales, however, said that this report had not been confirmed and was merely rumor. Morales claimed that Garcia had requested some time off to attend to personal matters concerning the health of her infant son, and that she was expected back to work soon.

~*~

With conflicting reports, both of dubious origin, I find it impossible to guess whether or not Marisol Valles Garcia and her family have fled to America. I hope so though since what the cartel vermin would do to her and her infant son doesn’t bear dwelling upon.

Some will say that her fleeing Mexico was an act of cowardice. I disagree. When a person takes over a police force of 13 agents – 9 of which are unarmed women – 1 working patrol car, 3 automatic rifles and a single pistol, it cannot be rightly called cowardice to not go up against either the Sinaloa and Juarez cartels or to flee the area when presented by them with an untenable offer.