Muslim Comedy

There is humor to be found in almost anything. Even those things which are the most vile and pernicious still hold the seeds of comedy within them, if one but knows how and where to look. Indeed, AIDS, Islam, and other similar things need jokes to be told about them.

So here are some jokes attributed to the – probably completely fictitious – Muslim comic, Goffaq Yousef:

Good evening, gentlemen, and get out, ladies.

On my flight to New York there must have been an Israeli in the Bathroom the entire time.
There was a sign on the door that said “occupied.”

What do you say to a Muslim woman with two black eyes?
Nothing! You told her twice already!

How many Palestinians does it take to change a light bulb?
None! They sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it!

Did you hear about the Broadway play, The Palestinians?
It bombed!

What do you call a first-time offender in Saudi Arabia?

Did you hear about the Muslim strip club?
It features full facial nudity!

Why do Palestinians find it convenient to live on the West Bank?
Because it’s just a stone’s throw from Israel!

Why are Palestinian boys luckier than American boys?
Because every Palestinian boy will get to join a rock group!

A Palestinian suspect was being grilled by Israeli police.
“Honest, I’m not a suicide bomber,” he said. “I didn’t say I wanted to blow Myself up so I could sleep with 72 virgins. All I said was I’m dying to get laid!”

What does the sign say above the nursery in a Palestinian maternity ward?
“Live ammunition.”

A Palestinian girl says to her mommy:
“After Abdul blows himself up, can I have his room?”

As a special bonus there’s a another bit of humor contained in this post – the supposed comic himself. Goffaq Yousef – go ahead and say it out loud a couple of times 😆

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