Americans Are Wrong

Americans are wrong, socially inept, and gauche – or so our titular allies in Europe and Britain so often of take great pains to tell us. A case it point:

A US Marine fresh from deployment in Afghanistan enters a train in Europe. The train was quite crowded, so the Marine walked the entire length lf it ooking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman’s poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, “Ma’am, may I have that seat?”

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, “Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.”

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog.

“Please, ma’am. May I sit down here? I’m very tired.”

She snorted, “Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!”

This time the Marine didn’t say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, “Someone must defend my honour! Put this American in his place!”

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up and said to the Marine, “Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.”

As a general rule I prefer dogs over Americans. Europeans – especially the French until very recently – are farther down on my list of favored or tolerated animals so I’d have to grudgingly agree with the Brit in this instance πŸ˜‰

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2 Responses to “Americans Are Wrong”

  1. Paradigm Says:

    The French are annoying, although that story sounds made up. But the Brits are stuck up, Italians are always in your face, Scandinavians are boring and so on. Best people here are possibly the inhabitants of Slovenia, a country portrayed as a tourist’s nightmare in the Hostel-movies.

  2. jonolan Says:

    The story is not only “made up,” Paradigm, it’s a joke – an old joke from WW2 or immediately thereafter in fact. I just updated the context slightly.

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