Reflections From a Murky Pond

The ongoing war against Islamic terrorism is a global crisis; it is of major concern to most of the nations of Earth. Still, each nation has its own culture and its own way of responding to the Muslim threat. Here are some of the various responses from different nations.

As you will see, their responses to terrorism are deeply rooted in their national cultures.

England

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.”Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to a “Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the English issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

Scotland

The Scots raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

Ireland

The Irish’s response was summed up in a joint pronouncement by the Houses of the Oireachtas which succinctly said, “Fecking amateurs!”

France

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide”. The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

Italy

Italy has increased the alert level from ”Shout loudly and excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

Germany

The Germans also increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose”.

Belgium

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

Spain

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

New Zealand

New Zealand has also raised its security levels – from “baaa” to ”BAAAA!” Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister’s bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is “I hope Australia will come and rescue us”.

Australia

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to ”She’ll be right, mate”. Three more escalation levels remain: “Crikey!’, ”I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend” and “The barbie is canceled”. So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

America, of course, also has responded to the threat posed by Muslim terrorists in a manner completely in keeping with our national character. We started strong, taking the war back to the vermin’s nests, got distracted midway through, and are now bored with the endeavor since it is beginning to cost too much, is interfering with our creature comforts, and getting in the way of our enjoyment of our favorite nightly television lineups.

Oh well, we shouldn’t expect too much from ourselves any longer. After all, we get impatient waiting for our popcorn in the microwave. How can we be expected to stand strong in a global war that will take many years?

President Obama has to feel like a tired boxer hung up on the ropes with his opponent pummeling away at him. First he and his agenda took a hard blow from Republican Scott Brown’s surprising and substantial defeat of Democrat Martha Coakley for the late Ted Kennedy’s Massachusetts Senate seat.

Now the state legislatures across the nation are now pounding away at one of ObamaCare’s key provision, mandatory health insurance coverage for all Americans.

From Associated Press (AP) via Yahoo News:

Lawmakers in 34 states have filed or proposed amendments to their state constitutions or statutes rejecting health insurance mandates, according to the American Legislative Exchange Council, a nonprofit group that promotes limited government that is helping coordinate the efforts. Many of those proposals are targeted for the November ballot, assuring that health care remains a hot topic as hundreds of federal and state lawmakers face re-election.

If Scott Brown’s election could be described as a punishing body blow, then 34 out of 50 – 68% and enough, with 4 states to spare, to call a Constitutional Convention – state legislatures moving to block ObamaCare’s insurance mandate must be described as a States Rights hook and one that went straight across Obama’s chin.