The Bourne Solution

ūüėÜ We’ve all learned by now that you can do almost anything faster, easier and better with computers.¬† Perhaps the War on Terror can be approached the same way. Of course, you’ll need need to understand the Unix command line and shell scripting to achieve the best results…

One of my wives, Eve aka jmochagrrl, sent me this solution to the US’ ongoing war on terror and terrorism, specifically the dangers arising out of the Middle-east.

The War On Terror

As viewed from the Bourne shell

$ cd /middle_east
$ ls
Afghanistan  Iraq     Libya      Saudi_Arabia  UAE
Algeria    Israel   Morocco    Sudan         Yemen
Bahrain      Jordan   Oman       Syria
Egypt        Kuwait   Palestine  Tunisia
Iran         Lebanon  Qatar      Turkey

$ cd Afghanistan
$ ls
bin Taliban
$ rm Taliban
rm: Taliban is a directory
$ cd Taliban
$ ls
$ rm soldiers
$ cd ..
$ rmdir Taliban
rmdir: directory “Taliban”: Directory not empty
$ cd Taliban
$ ls -a
. .. .insurgents
$ chown -R USA .*
chown: .insurgents: Not owner
$ cd ..
$ su
Password: *******
# mv Taliban /tmp
# exit
$ ls
$ cd bin
$ ls
$ cd ..
$ rm -r bin/laden
bin/laden: No such file or directory
$ find / -name laden
$ su
Password: *******
# mv bin /tmp
# exit
$ pwd
$ cd /opt/UN
$ ln -s /Bad_Guys/Al_Qaeda /middle_east/Iraq/.
ln: cannot create /middle_east/Iraq/Al_Qaeda:
Permission denied
$ su
# ln -s /Bad_Guys/Al_Qaeda /middle_east/Iraq/.
# cd /middle_east/Iraq/Al_Qaeda
Al_Qaeda: does not exist
# rm /middle_east/Iraq/Al_Qaeda
# mkfile 100g /middle_east/Iraq/Al_Qaeda
mkfile: No space left on device
# rm /middle_east/Iraq/Al_Qaeda
# cd /opt/Coalition/Willing
# mkfile 1b /middle_east/Iraq/Al_Qaeda
# chown -R USA:Proof /middle_east/Iraq/Al_Qaeda
$ cd /middle_east/Iraq
$ ls
$ ls
$ ls
$ ls -a
. .. saddam
$ find / -name [Ww][Mm][Dd]
$ wall Propaganda.txt
Broadcast Message from USA (pts/1) on USS_Abraham_Lincoln Th May 1st
Mission Accomplished!
$ rm saddam
saddam: No such file or directory
$ find / -name saddam
$ wall NewsWorthy.txt
Broadcast Message from USA (pts/1) on Time.Magazine Sat Dec 13
We Got Him!
$ mv /var/opt/dictators/spiderhole/saddam /opt/jail
$ cd /opt/USA
$ cp -Rp Democracy /middle_east/Iraq
$ cd /middle_east/Iraq/Democracy
$ ./install
Install Error: Install failed. See install_log for details.
$ more install_log
Installed failed!
Prerequisite packages missing
Conflicting package Wahhabism found in /midde_east/Saudi_Arabia
Packages Church and State must be installed separately
File System /PeakOil nearing capacity
Please read the install guide to properly plan your installation.

Eve got this from The S Word Blog over at Sun Microsystems.

Of course there are still some issues with the “operating system” used in the above example; as has been pointed out, everything in /bin should be “executable.”

Also note that this must be done from the Bourne shell. Using the slowly deprecated Bourne Again shell ($bash) will accomplish the goals faster, but may result in the destruction of all files in /middle-east.

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