No Pleasing Women

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch… You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. .

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 – These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

“Wow,” the woman thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 – You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

H/T to funlok.com

Related Reading:

A Prairie Home Companion Pretty Good Joke Book 6th Edition
What If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions
The 50 Funniest American Writers*: An Anthology of Humor from Mark Twain to The Onion
The Extraordinary Book of Useless Information: The Most Fascinating Facts That Don’t Really Matter
The Big Book of Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids: A 3-in-1 Collection

Tags: |

13 Responses to “No Pleasing Women”

  1. jonolan Says:

    It should be noted that there were many previous Wife Stores in and around NYC, but they were all closed by Gov. Eliot Spitzer in his crusade against human trafficking. This is not hypocracy since “Kristen” was never intended to be ex-Gov. Spitzer’s wife. LOL

    😛

  2. The Razzler Says:

    That is so funny!

  3. Christy Says:

    HAHAHAHA.
    Love it, Jonolan. =)

  4. The Czech Daily Word Says:

    If the strore was any good, there would be a two-week goods-return policy. If the wrapper is undamaged the client would get store credit…

  5. jonolan Says:

    I think they originally tried that idea but determined that NO man escapes marriage undamaged. LOL!

  6. Christy Says:

    LOL

  7. expatbrian Says:

    Just perfect!

  8. jonolan Says:

    Glad you liked it, Brian.

  9. Aafke Says:

    Woehaha!

  10. Jack Ash Says:

    I don’t know about all that. However, I think I need the address of this store. I plan to open a “Yes Dear” shop right next to it.

    ~JA

  11. A Brief Look at the Blogosphere « Halo of Pain Says:

    […] From a Murky Pond has a humorous take on how to please a woman (or how you […]

  12. Neale Says:

    Have you not heard about the New WIVES store?

    To avoid gender bias charges, the store owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

    The first floor has wives that love sex.

    The Second floor has wives that love sex, have money and like beer.

    The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited!!!

  13. jonolan Says:

    That sounds just about right. 😉

Leave a Reply