Fontastically Funny

Posted in Humor on April 10th, 2017
Fontastically Funny

Yes, it’s true! After 132 years and 2 months (to the day at the time of this post) since this pangram reached public notice, the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.

A Cappella Agitpop

Posted in Politics, Society on April 9th, 2017

The MSM is just A Capella Agitpop
The Lamestream Enemedia’s Fake News Is Just A Capella Agitpop

No, the Lamestream Enemedia isn’t news, not even fake news. It’s nothing more or less than Leftist agitpop with no instrumental accompaniment. As such, it’s not something that should be taken seriously except in that it poses a certain level of threat to our nation.

OK, it does also serve the useful purpose of helping us identify our domestic enemies and their sympathizers in that anyone parroting the Lamestream Enemedia’s narratives is using shibboleths that easily identify them as members or fellow travelers of the Left.

Your Bikini Body

Posted in Society on April 6th, 2017

This is not a Bikini Interlude. It has a purpose beyond mere prurient pleasure. It’s a discussion – read as lecture; I’m nothing if not pedantic – of- and about any and every woman’s bikini body.

Ladies, Your Bikini Body

Yes, it’s April, so we here in the Northern Hemisphere are approaching bikini season. Hence, we’re soon to be inundated with ads for “quick fix” weight-loss programs / products and with you all fretting about your bodies and bikinis – or really, any bathing suits whatsoever.

This Could Be Your Bikini Body

Maybe you have a slim, slender, and/or tight body that fits the mold that our society says is suitable for a bikini. If so, break out that bikini and strap your body into it. Few, though not none, will complain.

If you came by that body of yours naturally, luck you. Enjoy it and the pleasure it brings. If you’ve worked hard and stressed yourself out to get it, accept both my congratulations and condolences. You’ve certainly earned the privilege to enjoy yourself.

Or This Could Be Your Bikini Body

Maybe your body is toned and muscular. Maybe you’re a true hardbodied babe. If so, you’ve either gotten your body to look like that through hard work, intense body sculpting, or some combination of two. Few, if any of note, are going to complain about you in a bikini. Go out and enjoy yourself and the attention you’re sure to garner.

Or This Could Be Your Bikini Body

Or maybe –most likely, probably – you’ve got a curvy, phat, soft body, one that doesn’t meet society’s rather nastily enforced esthetic standards when it comes to wearing a bikini. That’s all good too. Fuck society and the expectations and demands it’s fallen prey to.

If you want to rock that bikini, do so! The haters are always going to find a reason to hate and the rest of us, who are either the increasingly less silent majority or the largest plurality, will either approve or just not care.

Ask Yourself Why, Ladies

Ladies, you should ask yourself why exactly you want to wear a bikini in the first place. Being goal orient is, after all, almost always the best way to go into anything.

If you’re looking for a sexual partner and planning on wearing a bikini to help attract one, then you’re likely to succeed irrespective of whether your body its, tight, hard, or curvy and soft. Men are varied and rarely absolute in our tastes and I’m told that women, if that’s your thing, are even more extreme in this. You’re going to, in all likelihood, get what you’re looking for and have a choice in partners.

On the other hand, if you’re planning on wearing a bikini just for yourself because that’s the bathing suit you want to wear for the purposes of tanning, comfort, or whatever reason, then who cares? In this case, it’s all about you and the attraction for- or approval of others really shouldn’t matter at all.

Ladies, in this case it is your body, your bikini, and your choice. Don’t be afraid of making the wrong choice because there isn’t one.