Reflections From a Murky Pond

The world is full of surprises both large and small. Some of them are more pleasant than others; some of them are more shocks than surprises.

Surprise Package!

Hehe…Sometimes karma is served cold and sometimes the jackass pays up right then and there. Yet, for all of his dismay, his trick with that frozen juice thing seems to have worked for him 😉

It should really come as no surprise to any American that lawyers are the subject of a rich and pithy genre of humor. Truly, anyone in a profession that is considered less honest and ethical than car salesmen must be expected to be the butt of a plethora of jokes.

Frankly, as a common profession, I can think of few groups more deserving of being criticized and lampooned. They, more so than anyone else – including the interrogators at GitMo – make a living off of other people’s misery.

Here’s a small and relatively kind sampling of the genre:

Question: What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
Answer: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

Question: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
Answer: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

Question: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
Answer: One is a slimy, bottom dwelling, scum sucker. The other is a fish.

Question: What’s the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
Answer: You cry when you cut up an onion.

Question: How can you tell the difference between an attorney lying dead in the road and a coyote lying dead in the road?
Answer: With the coyote, you usually see skid marks.

Question: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
Answer: Not enough sand.

Question: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
Answer: Skeet.

Question: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
Answer: His partners.

Question: What’s the difference between a shame and a pity?
Answer: If a busload of lawyers goes over a cliff, and there are no survivors, that’s known as a pity. If there were any empty seats, that’s a shame.

Question: What’s wrong with Lawyer jokes?
Answer: Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and nobody else thinks they’re jokes.

Here’s a lot more lawyer jokes – President Obama and 203 members of Congress. If one adds in the FLOTUS and the various attorneys serving in the Executive such as the Secretary of State, Deputy Secretary of Labor, Secretary of the Interior, Deputy Secretary of the Treasury, and the Deputy Secretary of Health and Human Service, the delectatio morosa stretches even farther.

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

— Mark Twain
Following the Equator

Sadly the joke, cruel and cutting as it is, is upon we, the People for we are the ones who played it upon ourselves by electing members of a profession who are near iconic for their torpor of conscience and moral flexibility to positions of authority.

President Obama is, politically speaking, being crushed in a vise, and it’s one of his own making. He has angered both the political elite, who berate his incompetence, and the masses of American people, who are massed in their anger at his policies and agenda.

Worse for him but not for America, it’s now too late for him to do anything about it until after the Congressional Mid-Term Elections.

A bit of moderation and due humility might have saved this political neophyte, but his arrogance and unfounded feelings of superiority have been his undoing. The upcoming elections will be more a referendum upon Obama than choice between candidates.

From TIME:

With the exception of core Obama Administration loyalists, most politically engaged elites have reached the same conclusions: the White House is in over its head, isolated, insular, arrogant and clueless about how to get along with or persuade members of Congress, the media, the business community or working-class voters. This view is held by Fox News pundits, executives and anchors at the major old-media outlets, reporters who cover the White House, Democratic and Republican congressional leaders and governors, many Democratic business people and lawyers who raised big money for Obama in 2008, and even some members of the Administration just beyond the inner circle.

On Friday, after the release of the latest bleak unemployment data — the last major jobs figures before the midterms — Obama said, “Putting the American people back to work, expanding opportunity, rebuilding the economic security of the middle class is the moral and national challenge of our time.” But elites feel the President has failed to meet that challenge and are convinced he will be unable to do so in the remainder of his term. Moreover, there is a growing perception that Obama’s decisions are causing harm — that businesses are being hurt by the Administration’s legislation and that economic recovery is stalling because of the uncertainty surrounding energy policy, health care, deficits, housing, immigration and spending.

And that sentiment is spreading. Many members of the general public appear deeply skeptical of Obama’s capacity to turn things around, especially, but not exclusively, those inclined to dislike him — Tea Partyers and John McCain voters, but also tens of millions of middle-class Americans, including quite a few who turned out for Obama in 2008.

President Obama, apparently unused to responsibility, squandered all of his political capital on incessantly blaming President Bush for our problems, the GOP for preventing him from fixing anything, and Fox News for anything and everything he could dream up. Both he and America would have been better served if Obama had taken responsibility and worked to actually resolve the tactical issues before our country.

At this juncture Obama can shuck and jive all that he wants to in the hopes that he can convince the voters that everything America is struggling is someone else’s fault, but what has devolved into little more than blame it on the “Old White Guys” won’t work well anymore, especially since a lot of those Democrats who will still let him shill for them are themselves “Old White Guys.”

~*~

Keep your eyes open. Travel light but load heavy, and always put another round in the enemy after they’re down. 😉

In yet another blow to President Obama’s White House, Cabinet, and Czar staffing, Sasha Obama, “The Second Daughter” has chosen to resign from her familial position at the White House.

Citing feelings of being taken for granted, Sasha Obama has decided to strike out on her own. Both a reality television series and a possible political career have been hinted at the 9-year-old.

President Obama, now used to being abandoned by his constituency, is making the best of the situation. Neither the First Lady nor the First Daughter were available for comment.

(WASHINGTON D.C.) Sasha Obama is stepping down from her role as second daughter. Following other key members of President Obama’s administration including Rahm Emmanuel and Gen. James Jones, the 9-year-old announced her resignation, effective next week.

“It has been an honor serving alongside the President and First Lady, as well as First Daughter Malia,” a tearful Sasha told reporters. “But this is a key juncture in my life and I feel it’s best for all involved that I move on.”

The resignation was expected. Insiders have hinted that Sasha was unhappy in her limited role.

In an exclusive interview with The Peoples News, Sasha confirmed that she has a reality show in the works. The third grader wouldn’t, however, say what her role would be–but hinted that it might involve running for the mayor of Chicago.

“You’ll have to watch to find out,” she said, winking.

Sasha said she found her role as Second Daughter superfluous. Originally billed as the ‘cute spunky one,’ Sasha’s public role diminished sharply after Barack and Michelle Obama said the girl and Malia would no longer give interviews.

Sasha admitted she missed the spotlight, but doesn’t think her departure will adversely affect the Obamas.

“Given the small amount of public appearances that come my way now, I’m certain Malia can pick up any slack,” Sasha said. “If Chelsea Clinton could handle it as an only child, I know Malia can.”

Trouble had been brewing for about a year, say insiders. A recent overseas trip to Spain with only Michelle and Sasha was designed to ease the tensions. Instead, the trip exacerbated Sasha’s frustration.

“Sasha thought she was going to be on the covers of all the Europe papers as the cute pixie taking Europe by storm. Instead, the press ignored her. They just focused on whether the trip was even necessary,” said a White House official who didn’t want his name use. “That was the last straw.”

The President was outwardly happy for Sasha, and said there were no hard feelings.

“There’s no way I can express my gratitude to her for so gracefully handling such a challenging role,” Obama said. “I wish her the best in all she does.”

He said the search for a new Second Daughter would begin by the end of the month. Willow Smith and Zahara Jolie-Pitts have both been mentioned as leading candidates.

With a surprised but laughing H/T to The People’s News. Thank you, Bill Matthews.

Enjoy! I hope you get as much of a laugh out of this bit of sarcastic humor as I did. 😀

There is an old adage, “Sometimes out of the mouth of babes comes great wisdom and ideas.” The bit of humor below illustrates the ongoing validity of this adage.

A Democrat Congressman was seated next to a little girl on an airplane so he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, What would you want to talk about?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said the congressman. “How about global warming, universal health care, or stimulus packages?” as he smiled smugly.

“OK,” she said. “but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer poops little pellets, a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps. Why is that?”

The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”

To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care, or the economy, when you don’t know shit?”

The congressman remained quiet for the rest of the flight.

All humor aside, it is a sad thing for America and her children it will take far more than a few words of wisdom to finally and permanently silence these Liberals who are hell-bent on destroying the very fabric of our country of our nation. Let us all hope that well-deserved ridicule and our votes are enough to quash them. Elsewise we must needs resort to fire, blood, and steel to remove them or perish as people forevermore.

For now though, enjoy the humor in this as you can. 😉