Yes, it’s true; Liberal Tears are quite common at Starbucks these days. Millennials especially are weeping into their overpriced and over-roasted coffee-esque beverages. The quiet sobbing and sniffling, punctuated by the occasional bouts of weeping, wailing, cursing, and the gnashing of teeth, has really changed the ambience of many Starbucks, most especially those in the Liberal and Progressive controlled coastal regions.
Not but what these people have great reasons to cry, twenty of the most common ones being listed below.
20 Reasons Millennials Are Crying At Starbucks
- There was a 10 minute wait for the Pumpkin Spice Latte
- The Barista didn’t use the proper gender pronoun
- Because President Trump is on the TV
- Because there are no safe spaces in the real world
- They took a Buzzfeed quiz that guessed their gender correctly
- They see someone wearing a #MAGA t-shirt
- Their parents called asking them to move out of the basement
- The guilt of supporting a free-market economy
- They accidentally swiped right on a Conservative’s profile
- Bernie still isn’t President
- Hillary still isn’t President
- Trump still is President
- They spilled coffee on their new “Che” t-shirt
- They saw an American flag and it wasn’t being stepped upon
- They found out what Socialism actually means
- They want to join ANTIFA but parents won’t let them
- They want to use violence to stop free-speech but can’t fight
- Couldn’t recall the difference between further and farther
- Whole Foods rejected employment application…yet again
- Wondering if that Liberal Art’s degree was actually worth it
Poor things – They were betrayed by reality which refused to abide by their wishes. Worse, they’ve spent their entire lives being taught that they were entitled to get whatever they want, whenever they want it. So now, they can’t cope with having lost everything.