Glamor Is For Fools. Vitamins Are For People

Growing up in central Florida, however, I have seen and been on the receiving end of treatment much like that shown by the babushka in this hilarious Russian juice commercial. The difference being that the farmers and growers in Florida loaded rock salt and could actually hit what they were aiming at.

But if it’s that costly, how can we have this:

Boldly Going Where NASA Can’t Afford To Tread

If a space program is so expensive that the Obama Regime has to curtail NASA’s efforts, how could a small Washington DC metro area restaurant chain, Sticky Rice, with only for restaurants be able to afford to collaborate with RVA TV and Bark Marketing to launch one of their Godzirra rolls into space – and how could they manage to do it in the first place?

OK, for the sake of precision, Sticky Rice didn’t actually put a Godzirra Maki into space. They didn’t breach the Karman Line and only managed to send their sushi into the middle stratosphere.

Sticky Rice should rename their Godzirra roll. They should call it the Fukyu-Obama Maki.

If a small business can, using commercially available equipment and materials send, film, and successfully recover sushi to the edge of space then it’s disgusting to claim and laughable to believe that America needs to curtail space exploration.

Now Just Add Some Bacon

Then I realized that there wasn’t that much difference, nutrition-wise, between the grilled cheese burger and a normal cheeseburger. Given normal portioning, the only added calories and fat would be from the butter used to grill the cheese sandwiches.

So…Oh Hell Yeah! Two great American sandwich classics, the grilled cheese sandwich and the hamburger, concatenated into a single meaty, cheesy wonder. And you could even add some bacon to it.

GOVERNMENT WARNING: (1) ACCORDING TO THE SURGEON GENERAL, WOMEN SHOULD NOT DRINK ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES DURING PREGNANCY BECAUSE OF THE RISK OF BIRTH DEFECTS. (2) CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES IMPAIRS YOUR ABILITY TO DRIVE A CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY, AND MAY CAUSE HEALTH PROBLEMS.

The required warning makes it very clear to everyone exactly what the US government is concerned about.

Before & After – Gentlemen Beware

The Rinkuškiai Brewery in the Biržai region of Lithuania, while not required by their government to put such warning labels on the beers, chose to provide very practical warnings anyway on bottles of their Beers.

I don’t know about you, but I think that Rinkuškiai’s warning looks to carry a lot more weight with drinkers than what the US government requires.

Gentlemen, drink responsibly or you may face some ugly consequences.

According to The Wall Street Journal, there were perceived taste differences and many found the white cans too easy to confuse for diet coke – because reading the can’s label was just too much work or took too much thought.

While not directly causative, this bit of stupidity is indicative of why America is in the piss-poor shape that it’s in. Too many people are too mentally deficient and too lazy to even begin to do for themselves but are seemingly always willing and able to complain and to demand that “the powers that be” make changes to enable their unmerited comfort.

It’s really no wonder that wealth, influence, and power are concentrated among the few when the many are little more than mindless drones.

In itself that’s no problem; Presidents are rarely from the masses. If Obama plans to revisit this campaign tactic though, it’s going to take reworking similar to his wealth redistribution campaign plank and the Obama Girl.

Obama leads a charmed life though and, thanks to the Lagunitas Brewing Company, there’s the perfect beer for his next iteration of a beer summit – Wilco Tango Foxtrot.

Like Obama, WTF is rich and brown, but carries a harsh, bitter bite that is not normal in an American product. In the beer’s case it comes from Californian hops sensibilities

It’s noteworthy and apropos that Wilco Tango Foxtrot was supposed to be named “2010 Recovery Ale” but they said, “It’s 2011 and it STILL doesn’t look like we’ll be there anytime soon.”

If you can still afford it and tolerate the bite, hoist a glass of WTF in Obama’s “honor.”

Bacon Rules

And yes, Ladies; rule 12 is incontrovertible. Properly used bacon will get you laid, especially during the Holidays.

I’m really not sure exactly when or why bacon grew from being just tasty food into a pervasive meme or trope, but I’m enjoying every delicious, smoky minute of it.

What has been the question facing Americans though is what exactly is this Leftist Kool-Aid that they’re guzzling. Just what is this strange brew that give them such garish visions and whips them into such destructive frenzies? We, at long last, have found out…

We Have Found Their Kool-Aid

Sadly, even finding the intoxicant that these Liberals and Progressives so readily get hopped up on serves America little at all. It is easily and cheaply produced and, unlike the “Kool-Aid” of Jonestown, it’s not immediately fatal to the drinker, instead causing mortal harm to all those better people surrounding them.

I have my doubts about the possibility of reforming these addicts. A junkie is a junkie and will always be so and this Leninade seems worse than crack or meth, so a twelve-step program seems unlikely to help. Still, America has to do something about the Leftists and the Kool-Aid addiction.

At least we’ve discovered the Leftists’ Kool-Aid. Breaking the supply chain can be worked out later.

So…What’s a Potato? Or Spinach?

Normally I would ignore the politically correct sop thrown to the vegans by using “protein” as opposed to “meat, fish, and eggs,” but it’s part of the problem with this new program. Four general classes of food and a nutrient?

You want to make it understandable? Then pick a freaking metric and stick with it, you valueless idiots! Mixing them for sake of the votes of a few strident fringe dwellers will just cause harm.

And where are the fats and oils? Is everyone expected to go on a raw foods diets or don’t cooking methods and saucing matter anymore?

How about strawberry cheesecake? Since sweets aren’t mentioned at all, does that imply that it shouldn’t be eaten or is it one fruit and one dairy?

For the Obamas and those toadies and donors they’ve appointment to the federal government’s bureaucracy it’s gets even worse. Their core constituency and the only one left solidly behind them, the Obama Zombies, need a slightly different diet in order to stay vigorous and, hence, need a different Food Guide…

OooooobaaAAAmmaaa! We’re Entitled To Their Brains

Sadly the shambling, yet still dangerous, hordes of zombies that support Obama aren’t quite as teachable as the average flatworm. No matter how many Americans’ brains they devour, they still won’t learn anything.

This is pointed up with great humor and delicious irreverence in Wild Turkey’s latest commercial.

Wild Turkey – Give ‘Em The Bird!

Brash it may seem – both Wild Turkey’s bourbon and the advertisement – and flagrant in its disregard for subtlety and coyness, but those are hallmarks of the great culture that is America, and should not a people’s spirits be a reflection and distillation of their spirits?

Enjoy responsibly, with neither more nor less moderation than your desires, constitution, and circumstances require – but always remember, especially when a beautiful woman buys you a drink, that “whiskey dick” is real, pernicious, and nobody’s friend.