Suddenly the redhead sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back to her.

“Oh my, I am so sorry,” the woman says with embarrassment as she pops her eye back in place.

“Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,” she says.

They proceed to enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for breakfast in the morning. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet breakfast with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible! “You know,” he said, “You are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?”

‘No,’ she replies. . .”You just happened to catch my eye.”

Google Knows What You’ve Been Searching For

You might want to remember that Google is watching and remembering while you’re cruising the web and searching for stuff, especially you freaks in Lahore, Pakistan.

Yo, Chutiya! You’re taking a lot more into your own hands than you think if the Islamists surrounding you find out what you’re doing on the web.

But before any of us complain too stridently about this, let’s all take a moment to remember something else:

If you are not paying for it, you’re not the customer; you’re the product being sold.

– Andrew Lewis aka blue_beetle

That’s pretty much how it goes in the real word which, despite the best efforts of fools, the internet is part and parcel of. So enjoy yourselves, but remember that it’s Google giving you that feeling of being watched while you….whatever.

Never Has Something So Looked Down Upon Been So Approved Of

Immensely powerful and completely paradoxical, cleavage can bring a woman fame, infamy, or both at once. In some benighted areas of the world it can even get a woman exiled, imprisoned, mutilated or killed.

Even more amazing is that it forms the foundation of a plethora of multi-billion dollar industries which employ 100′s of thousand, if not millions of people across the globe.

Such is the overwhelming power of such display of the breasts that a hoax claiming that for men 10 minutes of staring at cleavage was equal to 30 minutes of cardiovascular exercise was widely believed in 1997, 2009, and again in 2009.

Has Sci-Fi been a prophetic force yet again?

Silly little planet. Anyone could take over the place with the right set of mammary glands.

– Serleena
Men in Black II (2002)

It wouldn’t shock me in the least if the Earth could be taken over with right set of mammary glands if they were suitably and prominently displayed. I firmly believe that wars could be started or ended by cleavage and governments toppled.

Cleavage is absolutely and truly amazing. It’s the perfect synthesis of nature’s beauty and human ingenuity – and what else can you look down upon and approve of at the same time?

Bem-vindo à Ilha Megan Fox

The Portuguese might have taken things to a bit of an extreme though. Then again, when you balance an island of Megan Fox’s against one filled with savage cannibals, it seems almost fair.

Aprende a língua , meninos e meninas!

Wilma & Betty Rocking The Pliocene

Hey! I said vintage pin-ups. I never said what vintage. Besides, Wilma and Betty were rocking it in their jagged hemmed fur mini-dresses through the whole series and you know it.

The Ocean Is Filled With Beauty And Danger

Oh yeah! Watch out for the sharks too, especially some of the larger varieties of hammerheads, since they can be dangerous as well if provoked.

OMG! That’s A Fantastic Tongue

Remember gentlemen, right now somewhere out there, there’s a lesbian creaming her panties over this image. See? They’re not so different from us after all…

So I’d like to thank Jordan Carver for showing us all that a snake in the grass can be a beautiful thing.

Rana Tannenbaumensis – The Christmas Frog

The Christmas Frog (Rana tannenbaumensis) is rare these days due to religious and ideological destruction but can still be found in North America and Western Europe and was once part of Christmas celebrations.

O Christmas Frog, O Christmas Frog,
Your bellies glow delight us!
They’re warm when summer days are bright,
They’re warm when winter snow is white.
O Christmas Frog, O Christmas Frog,
Your bellies glow delight us!

OK, OK – It’s a tree frog that has swallowed a Christmas light, mistaking it for a firefly.

Of course, if this pic goes viral, how long do you think it’ll be before PETA winds themselves up and starts protesting outdoor Christmas lights because of the potential for frog’s swallowing them? They’ll probably start a “Swamp Puppies” pseudo-education campaign reminiscent of their Sea Kittens propaganda.

So to preemptively strike and forestall any attempt by PETA to move in that direction, I present you with a sampling of the Swap Puppy:

~*~

NOTE: For those who might be interested, the frog in the image is a Cuban Tree Frog (Osteopilus septentrionalis) and the photo was taken in August, 2009 by James Snyder in his backyard in southern Florida.

After the photo Mr. Snyder pulled the light out of the frog’s mouth and he was fine, having suffered no ill effects from ingesting the light-bulb.

She Never Has To Decide What Costume to Wear

The costumes, combined with the tendency to put one’s inhibitions on hold for a night, are often enough to make it a pleasant secular exuberance.