Americans vs. Liberals

There are a lot of differences between Americans and Liberals.

If an American doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
If a Liberal doesn’t like guns, ze wants all guns outlawed.

If an American is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a Liberal is a vegetarian, ze wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If an American is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If an Liberal is homosexual, ze demands legislated respect.

If an American is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
If a Liberal is down-and-out ze wonders who is going to take care of him.

If an American doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
If a Liberal doesn’t like a talk show host, ze demands that they be shut down.

If an American is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
If a Liberal is a non-believer, ze wants any mention of God and religion silenced.

If an American decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
If a Liberal decides he needs health care, ze demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If an American reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
If a Liberal reads this, ze’ll delete, block, or report it because ze’s “offended.”

Yes, there’s a lot of differences and those differences are fundamental, incontrovertible, intractable, and unlikely to be resolved through any peaceful means.

Related Reading:

Man Walks into a Bar: Over 6,000 of the Most Hilarious Jokes, Funniest Insults and Gut-Busting One-Liners
Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left, From Mussolini to the Politics of Change
Conservatives Without Conscience
Society: The Basics (12th Edition)
National Geographic Kids Just Joking: 300 Hilarious Jokes, Tricky Tongue Twisters, and Ridiculous Riddles

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