Americans vs. Liberals

There are a lot of differences between Americans and Liberals.

If an American doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
If a Liberal doesn’t like guns, ze wants all guns outlawed.

If an American is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a Liberal is a vegetarian, ze wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If an American is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If an Liberal is homosexual, ze demands legislated respect.

If an American is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
If a Liberal is down-and-out ze wonders who is going to take care of him.

If an American doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
If a Liberal doesn’t like a talk show host, ze demands that they be shut down.

If an American is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
If a Liberal is a non-believer, ze wants any mention of God and religion silenced.

If an American decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
If a Liberal decides he needs health care, ze demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If an American reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
If a Liberal reads this, ze’ll delete, block, or report it because ze’s “offended.”

Yes, there’s a lot of differences and those differences are fundamental, incontrovertible, intractable, and unlikely to be resolved through any peaceful means.

Related Reading:

In Defense of a Liberal Education
101 So Bad, They're Good Dad Jokes
The Once and Future Liberal: After Identity Politics
Modern Conservative Judaism: Evolving Thought and Practice (JPS Anthologies of Jewish Thought)
Politics (Dover Thrift Editions)

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